[Anonymous]

hey

my boyfriend wants a three some and it upsets me because i feel im not satisfying him or doesnt take me seriously.
ive been with him for about 2 yrs and we a child together and helps me with my other child from my previous relationship..he is a good dad and boyfriend..he tells me im sexy often and takes care of me..but im confused on the three some part..i mean i do watever he wants to him..so why does he feel the need to have another girl in our life…i kno this three some will ruin our relationship because im a jealous girl and once i see he pays more attention to her i think imma whoop some ass lol. i just dont wanna share..i even fliped it around..i told him lets have a three some but with another guy,,he said yes,,which i dont believe him

what do you think, you think he loves me, am i doing something wrong here, ?

thanks crystal

[Clara]

I don’t think you should beat yourself up because he wants a threesome and you think it’s because you’re not satisfying him sexually. His wanting this threesome has nothing to do with you. I mean, think about it, if he really wants this, no woman could satisfy his desire for a third person. This is all him, it’s not you, so feel free to stop feeling guilty. 🙂

However, your instincts are correct that this possible threesome is a threat to your relationship. In fact, when you wrote that this threesome will “ruin” your relationship, I agree with you. So, now what you have to do is be clear with him that you’re not willing to engage in this activity. Since you’re not married, and you have a child together, I understand your concern about his willingness to commit or even stay if he doesn’t get all his needs fulfilled, but you’re going to have to face this discrepancy between what he wants and what you’re willing to do and not willing to do.

If he leaves you and the relationship because you won’t have a threesome, then you’ve learned that his commitment to his sex life is more important than his commitment to you and his child with you. This is a sad possibility, but it is a possibility you have to face. There is also a chance he will be mature enough to realize that he can’t have everything he wants in life, but that he will make a choice to be okay with the sex life you do have, and let go of this threesome fantasy. Believe me, most men and many women wish they could sleep with movie stars, Playboy centerfolds, sexy people they see on the street, in the office and in the mall — but they accept reality and make choices that allow them to have their fantasies without acting on them. This is what I’m hoping your boyfriend will do.

That said, you can’t change him and you can’t make him act a certain way, but you can be honest with him and tell him you’re not willing to have a threesome because it’s not right for you.

[Member]

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