[LeftyLeo]

Sorry for the long post, but a little back story is needed…

I began to see a girl I work with (first mistake). She is 25 with a 3 year old son. I’m 32 with no childern. She had been separated from her ex for about a year prior to us going out. Their relationship ended because he became physically abusive to her one night. She has been raising her son by herself since.

Our relationship started out great, but from the very beginning she informed me that her ex had recently been trying to get back into her life and things were complicated for her. We began to see and talk with each other more and more. The relationship progressed steadily for about a month and a half before we became intimate. After the first time she mentioned that she was not sure if this is what she wanted becuase things were confusing to her. We continued with the relationship and a few weeks passed. Things could not have been better. We had just had an amazing weekend together and everything seemed to be going smoothly. Not even 72 hours after our last weekend together she told me that we were on different pages. It was too confusing for her and that she did not want a relationship. Her actions and words prior to this were to the contrary (other than the time I mentioned before). To her credit, she did say once or twice that my timing could not have been worse, given all that she is dealing with – caring for her child, ex boyfriend trying to rekindle, new position at work and so on. We had a long talk and basically said it was nothing to do with me and that if she wanted a relationship with anyone it would be me. She said she wasn’t interested in even a casual relationship.

Since then I have tried to give her her space, but becaue we work together that is nearly impossible. To top it off, I’ve called her a few times after the break (second mistake) over the course of about a month to get a feel for her – which was status quo. All in the all the relationship lasted a little more than two months. It has been almost four months since we stopped seeing each other. I still want to see her and get her back in my life, but her attitude and demeanor towards me has changed completely. To the point I feel like she is avoiding me. Which confuses me because I do my best not run into her if I can help it – not trying to stalk her.

I need some help. I can not get this girl out of my mind, even after all this time and doing everything I can to move on. If it is possible for me to get her back, how do I go about doing it? If that’s not possible, how can I get over this? I’ve dated other people since, but my focus remains on her. Suggestions, brutal honesty or even just a woman’s prespective on where she is coming from…I’ll take anything right now – please!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good questions, here’s my help! 😆 Get Date Out of Your League, a book I wrote for men who want to get the girl. Here’s the link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. It gives you all the tips and advice you need to get the girl, which is what you seem to be asking for. So buy it ($14.95) and read it (it downloads automatically, so you’ll have your weekend reading ready!).

That said, one of the crucial tenets of a successful relationship is choosing someone who’s available. If a woman tells you she’s not ready for a relationship, like this one did — albeit after a try at one — and she has really good reasons (like this woman does), you have to accept that she may not be available, as she’s already told you. It’s not her — it’s her life at this moment.

I know you want what you want, but being successful in life and in love means accepting what you can actually have. So read Date Out of Your League [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url], and practice the advice in the book. If she’s yours, she’ll let you know, and if she’s not, you’ll have great information and advice for finding a woman who is.

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes after you read the book — and also, please join me on Facebook. I’d love to see you there. Here’s that link for AskApril.com on Facebook: [url][/url]. 🙂

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