[to be or not to be]

So, my bf and I have been dating for 8 months now. We met online, and he still has his dating profile up and he checks it regularly. I have asked him about it but he says hes not looking for anyone. Is this a big deal? As well, Im an ex alcoholic and drug user, and have been clean/sober for two years now. He smokes pot, and has smoked it before we met. We have had a few fights about it and even taken week long breaks from eachother to figure things out. Im not willing to be with a pot smoker, and i dont think hes willing to quit smoking it. A week ago I told him I couldnt do it anymore and that it was over. But I miss him soooo much. We get along so good and I can talk to him about anything. The night before I broke up with him I asked if he would be willing to go to couples counselling or something and he said he would. But is it worth my time to try to keep this guy and to try to get him help? I dont know what to do. I love him so much, and have never felt this way about someone, but what if I tell him I would like to do counselling and he still doesnt quit smoking? I really dont want to lose him, but I dont like having drugs in my life anymore… Do I have to choose one or the other or do you think theres a way to work through this without losing him?

[Clara]

The good news is that you know what you want and you know what’s good for you. 🙂 As a recovering addict you want to be with someone who does not use marijuana. The problem is you’re not taking care of yourself. 😳 You’re dating someone who smokes marijuana fairly regularly. My advice is not to even go on a first date with someone who uses marijuana if you know you want someone who doesn’t use marijuana. It’s a waste of your time. Now, you’re doing what feels good — by staying with someone or pining for someone who isn’t a good match for you. Addicts do what feels good first and foremost, not what’s good for them. This is your challenge. 😉 You may love him — but he isn’t good for you, and you have to do what’s right for you, not just what feels good. 😉

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook on this link: [url][/url].

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