[Anonymous]

Dear April,

I recently broke up with my boyfriend. We still love each other but are trying to work out some issues. During our break up, I did something that I am not proud of and have immediately regretted it. I always think that secrets will destroy relationships, but in this case I’m not so sure. We agreed that we were free to do whatever we wanted and no questions would be asked but because I still care a lot about him, I feel like I did something wrong. I immediately regretted it and have learned my mistake and would never do it again. If I ever get back with my ex, should I tell him and possibly hurt him for no reason? Or should I just let by gones be by gones? THANKS

[April Masini, your AskApril]

No. Don’t tell him. The reason is that you’re broken up, and not telling an ex-boyfriend what you did during a break up isn’t the same thing as not telling him what you did during a relationship. You didn’t cheat — you were broken up so you couldn’t have — so don’t tell him and make him feel you’re rubbing his face in it. There are different kinds of lies in relationships. Full on lies and little white lies. Your romantic behavior with other guys during a break up doesn’t need to be revealed to your ex — he’s not in your life now, so bringing him back in by telling him something that will upset him isn’t a full on lie. It’s a little white lie of omission. Not telling him will also help you move on. Telling him things that will upset him are just going to drag him back into the relationship in a negative way — not a positive one.

Time to keep quiet and move on! I hope that helps.

Please join me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Anonymous]

I shouldn’t tell him even if there is a good chance we may get back together in the future?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

No. You should not tell him.

Think about why — you’re wanting to tell him to alleviate your guilt. Or else to get him to tell you who he’s been with because you’re nosy. These are selfish reasons that don’t move the relationship forward. You didn’t cheat. You saw someone while you were broken up — which you still are. Don’t talk about other men you’ve been with — it will only make him sad, depressed, angry and betrayed.

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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