[Francisxe]

Hello,
My name is xavier and I have had some recurring issues about my girlfriends past that i cannot seem to let go of. My girlfriend is my first relationship and my gf has had at least 3 relationships before me. I had always known about one other guy whom she has never dated, but she would go over to his house and give him oral sex. I was not really bothered by it until i saw a picture of him on her account. I cannot get his face out of my head and every second i think about him and her and i picture how their little sex games happened in my head. I cannot look at her the same. Every time i kiss her i picture his face and i retract. I am always bringing up the past which i known is bad, but i dont know how to let go and move on. I love her; i just dont want to keep bringing up the past and i just want to be happy with her. I know a past is a past and she or me cannot change that. I just want to let go of all these negstive thoughts. Its not fair to her because she moved on with her past but I for the life of me cant. I dont know how to stop being jealous or picture her with orher guys because of her past. I feel trapped.We love each other very much and she makes me feel socloved and the happiest guy in the world. Thank you.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re not alone. There are people who have trouble understanding that someone they love dated, or was married, before. The fact that this person isn’t a virgin, or had more experience than they did, can become a big problem. I would encourage you to understand that everyone has a past, but that she’s with you now, and that she doesn’t cheat on you, and she wants to be monogamous with you. But, if you can’t do this, and you can’t be okay with the fact that she did have sex with other boyfriends before you, you won’t be able to move on with her. If that’s the case, then you should probably find someone to date who has the exact sexual and social background you want her to have, in order for you to feel okay with things. If this incompatibility is a deal breaker for you, you should accept it and move on.

[Member]

Posts