[crazy]

Hi i have been in a relationship about a year now. she had a toddler and was three mos pregnant with another mans child. i really liked her so to me those weren’t hard hurdles to overcome however the next ones have been .
I simply asked her to please let me know when she talked to her ex’s no man likes it but she does have children with them so it would be necessary on occasion and she said ok.anyway she talked to the one and contentiously lied about it every time I asked until I finally confronted her. then text him and lied about it then had an im session with the others dad and lied about it. Now it has been several mos since she lied to me or at least I haven’t caught her at it. anyway the trust is gone and it is causing me terrible troubles our sex life is non existent and there are typical signs of betrayal the sudden lack of wanting to spend time together, buying some new clothes including underwear being distant ect. just over all usual signs. she says that she’s being faithful but after all the other stuff I really don’t know what to believe ! I love her with all my heart and want to believe but what do I do ? because at this rate it is tearing us apart and ruining any chance that we may still have. can you help?.

[Ask April Masini]

You’re not taking her cues, and it’s causing you turmoil. 😳 She’s “continuously lied” (your words, not mine) to you and you’re wondering how you can have trust with her. Hmmmmm….. You’re asking the impossible. When someone continuously lies to you they’re making it clear they’re not capable of being trusted. “The trust is gone” (again, your words, not mine) and your sex life is non-existent as a result. How far do you have to fall to realize you’re at rock bottom? 😮

You may love her with all your heart, but you’re not acting very loving towards yourself. Think about your post and if you read it as a third party. There’s no way you’d tell this guy to continue in what is so clearly a destructive relationship. There is nothing in it for you, and while you may “want to believe” you’d do better facing reality. She’s not trustworthy, and your relationship is reflecting that incompatibility.

Time for you to feel that you are worth more than this. I’m sorry it’s not what you want to hear, but if you can take it in and accept it, I think that you’ll be a lot better off in the long run. 😉

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