[matthewsmommy09]

Im gonna try to make this short and to the point. Ive been in an up and down relationship the past 7 yrs. About 18 months ago a coworker of mine started to show interest in me. He gave me attention i was looking for. However hes married and claims hes just in his marriage because of what he has invested in it. He lives an hr and a half from me but works in the town i live in. Our company puts people who lives out of town in hotels during the week. He works mon thru thursday. He also has a secret phone…his wife knows nothing about..which he had before me. Now in the beginning he would always text on that phone around me..late at night and early mornings. One day he left the phone in my car. I went through the phone and there were many other women in there besides me. Alot of nasty conversations between him and the women. I confronted him and asked him to leave me alone and he swore to me they meant nothing that he loved me and i was his best friend. A few days later i let it go and went back to him. He never had that phone out around me since. Several months later i decided to show up at his hotel one morning and to my suprise he walked out with another woman. So i called and texted him and naturally im blind that was his wife he called me crazy. I never seen his wife so i didnt know what she looked like but i let it go again. Now about 4 months ago the 2 of us seemed to have grown together. We were inseparable. Our relationship went into the weekends. I would also go see him in his town…where i saw his wife and she was not the same lady leaving the hotel that morning. But it was the past. Well he would text me all the time telling me he loved and missed me. How he would say things if we lived together..if he left would i come…and of course i would…i was in love and wanted him. Then all of the sudden things took a turn for the worse. He wasnt the same. Anything i say to him would offend him and he would always accuse me of starting a fight or fussing. When all i wanted was to talk about what was wrong and he didnt want to hear it. Then one mornng i overheard another employee say “i didnt know george was a cop him and another female cop came to the hotel together” and of course geeorge said this guy didnt know what he was talking about and all the lies again. By the way george is a part time cop in a town close to his home. Well one day i asked him if he wanted to get a room for that night and he said no…the next morning i see this so called cop car he was spotted with two hrs away from her parish. Needless to say i saw his truck one evening at a hotel the two of them were seen at…along with her cop car. He doesnt deny being there but says he was by himself. What is bothering me is…how can he treat me like this…i know deep down he is seeing his cop….why cant he be honest…..and tell me the truth. Wouldnt it be easier for him to see her if i was out the picture….why is he continuing to lead me on and drag me behind him….i love him so much and it hurts. I dont understand what he wants with me.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]why cant he be honest…..and tell me the truth. Wouldnt it be easier for him to see her if i was out the picture….why is he continuing to lead me on and drag me behind him….i love him so much and it hurts. I dont understand what he wants with me.[/quote]

It sounds from your post like you want to vent about the situation. 😥 But in response to the questions you’ve lodged in there….. he isn’t being honest because he doesn’t want to be honest with you. He wants to manipulate people to get what he wants out of relationships. If he told you the truth, you probably wouldn’t stay with him. It would be easier for him to see her if you were out of the picture, but he’s not interested in things being easier. He likes things complicated – that’s why he stays married. 😉 I know you love him, but I think you do understand what he wants with you — you just don’t like it, and I don’t blame you.

Everything here is very clear, but you don’t want it to be. 😳 The reality is that you’re dating someone who’s married and cheating on not just his wife, but a few women, including you. Instead of trying to understand him…. consider trying to understand yourself, and why you want someone who cheats and is not available to you in the way you want him to be. 😉

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