[Unknown486]

I like to think of my situation as unique. I’m still young, and I met this girl in high school. I was a dumb sophomore, so I was slow at getting to know her. Too shy and whatnot. That summer, she started dating one of my friends. After that, I didn’t talk to her much. Hardly at all really, even after she and my friend broke up. Despite that, we were still always friends. But I still liked her… A lot. It wasn’t until we both went to different colleges that I realized that I would really like her to be a part of my life long term, and I was willing to break any “bro code” to have her. I let her know I feel but the thing is, she’s had countless friends turn on her after she dated them and now she won’t give me a chance to show her that I would do anything to make her happy like I know she would make me. I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to convince her to give me a shot. But I’m crazy about her. I can’t sleep. I’m always thinking about her. I need some advice, and I don’t know who to ask. Please, if anyone has anything useful to tell me… I could really use it.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’ve been crushing on this young woman for about three or four years now, and she won’t date you because you and her ex are best friends — and now you’re at different colleges (probably in different states). I think that you’re probably a freshman at college — am I right? — and there’s a lot of uncertainty and newness that goes a long with that experience. Consider that you’re holding out a torch for her because in spite of being surrounded by lots of single, age appropriate women at your own college, it’s a scary experience to date and date women you don’t really know. She’s a known entity and she’s safe because of that. I know this may sound a little twisted at first — but the fact that she’s unavailable makes her even safer.

My advice is to accept the rejection — at the same time you look around and find someone to date who’s geographically desirable and who hasn’t dated your best friend. 😉 You can flirt with your long distance crush and try to get something going, but don’t put all your eggs in that basket. Live your life where you are. You can hold out hope and play that long-distance card if you can get her attention with flowers, gifts and flirtation — but it’s a long shot given everything you’ve told me. Look around and start dating at your college. 😉

[Member]

Posts