[annalye]

Hello,

I am 26 year old female. I met this guy a month and a half ago at a party. He pursued me first and we went out a few times over the past month. Although he is in his 20s, he runs a very successful firm for a long time. That being said, I always thought that he doesn’t really act like his age, I mean he acts like a middle age guy not in terms of maturity but his life style. He always plays golf/ hang out at his country club/ knows everyone and fancy places etc. He knows what he wants and not afriad to go after. However, he is not a good looking guy AT ALL. I showed his photo to my friends and they all said the same thing. So he technically can’t be a player even if he wants to. (I know it sounds ridiculous but just to put you in perspective)

For me, I am always busy due to my work. So he always wants to see me more but I couldn’t to the point that I felt guilty even though I only met him not too long ago. I never wanted to be in any relationship due to my busy shedule and I am going away for a couple of months for a business trip, so it didn’t make sense for me to get to know him. However, he was very nice to me and pursued me to the point that I couldn’t really resisit. He had this confidence that I really liked. He contacted me several times a day and make sure how he felt about me etc…

Here is the problem. He cancled on me 3 times when we made plans to meet for whatever reasons. I mean he was the one who kept asking me to go out with him and until the day we meet, he used to send me message a several times a day that how much he couldn’t wait to see me etc.. (He is veryyy sweet with his words) What bothers me the most was the fact that he didn’t let me know early on in the day the change of plan which I thought that it was very disrespectful. Last time he cancelled his excuse was his partner/best friend’s father passed away, so he had to spend time with him. But honestly, I don’t know if I believe him. But then again, he goes like I want to see you this weekend, I am available whenever you like! I mean, WTH?!?

I am a girl who doesn’t really take BS and straightfoward. So I sent him a very rational email saying how I thought his cancellation on plans at the last minute for 3 times in a month was disrespectful and I wished him good luck. (It was a cutting him off email)

He replied back and said he was sorry and it was emergency (whatever) and he wants me in his life/he really care about me and give him a chance. I didn’t reply him back. I mean what am I going to say to that? Ok, I will forgive you?? I mean I am upset and that email is not enough for me. However, I am very bothered by it since the fact that he was the one that pursued me the whole time. I began to like the guy. I don’t open my heart to many nor easily.

Please advise me what I should do.. Should I just forget him and move on? or give him another chance? He sent me that email 3 days ago and there was no communication afterwards.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re right to be concerned. Canceling with little notice and poor excuses as well as showing up late are signs of disrespect and are clues into how he’ll treat you in other arenas of a relationship. So here are your choices: First, you can continue to date him, but know that he will continue to behave this way. Or, you can decide that he’s not valuing you as a person and you’d rather find someone who is. My vote is for the second option. I understand his best friend’s father died as an excuse, but I don’t know what the other two are, and unless he’s an emergency room surgeon or a fire fighter who has to be on call, it seems like his canceling should be followed up with a dozen roses or some significant sign of apology and respect for your time wasted. Without that, it’s not clear he’s that into you. Words are great, but if his behavior doesn’t match up, follow his behavior.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Member]

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