When you see the problem, and she doesn’t want to acknowledge or work on it, you have to use boundaries to protect yourself and to show her that you’re valuable and so is the relationship. This also changes your behavior and the pattern you’ve fallen into that isn’t working. When you limit your contact with her because her stress is affecting you and the relationship in a negative way, she’ll take notice. You can see her less often and contact her less often and see if that works as an interim measure. It gives her a chance to understand that this is serious, and to decide if this is an issue she wants to work with — and it gives you an opportunity to see if giving her space within the relationship will help alleviate her stress that you’re feeling. I think it’s a good idea to try this before calling it quits because the relationship may be salvageable. Stress in a relationship is common — whether it’s work, health, financial roommate relationships, in-laws — learning to deal with it is crucial to relationship success.
