[windy]

please can anyone give me any advice
over 30 years ago when i was in my teens
i met a wonderful girl we had a relationship for two years
and then it fizzled out and i moved away
since then every couple of years we would get in touch
by telephone just to see how each was
she got married had children and so did i
well a couple of months ago i moved back to my home town
and we got talking again
found out we are both now divorcerd
none of us had commitments so we decided to meet up

we had a whale of a time , we both laughed all night
it was absolutley brilliant
we have been out on dates 3 times since then
but no commitment
yesterday we met in town for a coffee before going out on another date
i asked straight out if she wants a relationship because thats what i want
iv fell for her big time
but she said no
i did buy her a gift which i think emabarrased her
since then her son has told me
that she showed the gift to all her family with a big smile on her face
well last night we went out
and had a great time
we seemed really close any chance she got she would kiss and hug me
at the end of the night she reached for my hand and held it all the way to her home

when i got home she phoned and i told her that im falling in love with her
she told me it was sweet and i was a soppy git lol
and then today she told me i was a bit too heavy
but she wants to know if we’re going out next week
thruthfully i cant go thru another date with being close then being rejected
what is she playing at
and im getting so many mixed signals
im not very good at understanding women
what i want to ask is , will she changed her mind and want a relationship
or would i be best just to walk away heart broken knowing i have no chance
has anyone come up with this situation or similar
thanks

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I don’t believe you don’t understand women — I just don’t think that in this case, you want the same thing she does. You want a fast commitment after 4 dates. She isn’t ready to make that commitment. But — she wants to continue to date you. 😀 I think you should take that as a good sign, and continue to date her. In general, I suggest that you use the first three months of dating to get to know someone and the second three months to decide if you want to continue dating them. At the end of six months you should decide if there’s going to be monogamy or not. I know that this is someone you’ve known pretty much your whole life, but you’ve both been married, had kids, and divorced, and there’s been a lot of water under your respective bridges. I think it would serve both of you to slow things down and continue doing what you’re doing — which is dating her, having a great time, and moving towards your goal without imposing it on her. You have to win her over — not press her into a commitment she’s not ready for. It’s way too soon — for her! And don’t see it as rejection — just see it as a difference in relationship time clocks! You’re not all that far apart.

And if you can’t take the suspense, then move on so you don’t have to have it hanging over you — but I think that you’ll lose out on what could be a great opportunity if you do that, simply because you can’t slow down and breathe. 🙂

I hope that helps. 😉

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[windy]

It does April 🙂
thanks so much x

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome. 🙂

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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