[BETH8073]

Here’s the scoop.

I met a guy and we talked a lot. We were goofy and even made plans to hang. He canceled the plans due to his clutch going on his car and i haven’t heard anything.

Does it sound like an excuse?

FYI: He even told me what we would’ve done on our date too.

Should I call/text him or should I leave it alone?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Nothing you’ve said leads me to believe your friend was being anything but honest about his car clutch going out as a reason he couldn’t make your date. Sometimes these things happen, and while it’s disappointing, don’t read anything else into it.

That said, if he doesn’t call you again and reschedule the date he missed, you can conclude he wasn’t that into the date to begin with, and he’s giving you the gift of a clear signal, so you can move on and find someone who is interested in you. Or….he’s not motivated enough to up and reschedule, and you really don’t need someone who’s so lazy that you’re not even important enough to see.

So if he calls, accept his offer of a date gladly. And if he doesn’t call, accept the gift of clarity he’s giving you about where he stands.

[BETH8073]

[quote=”April Masini”]Nothing you’ve said leads me to believe your friend was being anything but honest about his car clutch going out as a reason he couldn’t make your date. Sometimes these things happen, and while it’s disappointing, don’t read anything else into it.

That said, if he doesn’t call you again and reschedule the date he missed, you can conclude he wasn’t that into the date to begin with, and he’s giving you the gift of a clear signal, so you can move on and find someone who is interested in you. Or….he’s not motivated enough to up and reschedule, and you really don’t need someone who’s so lazy that you’re not even important enough to see.

So if he calls, accept his offer of a date gladly. And if he doesn’t call, accept the gift of clarity he’s giving you about where he stands.[/quote]

Should I call him?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

No. Don’t call him.

If he ever calls again, then you’ll know he was interested. If he doesn’t call again, then you’ll know he was never really all that interested. You shouldn’t want to date someone who isn’t all that interested in you because he just won’t be into the relationship, and he’ll dump you as soon as someone he is interested in comes along.

Only date guys who really want to be with you.

If he doesn’t call, he doesn’t really want to be with you.

Hope that helps!

[Natalie Noah]

From everything you described, nothing screams “lie” it sounds exactly like someone whose plans genuinely fell apart and then didn’t have the follow-through or emotional maturity to keep the momentum going. And that’s the part that matters. When a man is truly interested, car trouble doesn’t stop him from communicating. He might say, “I’m so upset this happened, let’s pick a new day,” or “I’ll call you later.” Even if he’s stressed, he finds a way to keep the connection warm. The silence afterward tells you more than the excuse ever could. Not because he’s a bad guy but because he’s showing you, with his lack of effort, that he’s not in a place where he’s ready to pursue something real. So no, you don’t need to call or text. You don’t need to chase. You just let this be what it is: a tiny redirection away from someone inconsistent, toward someone who will show up with enthusiasm not explanations. And I promise… you won’t miss what was never going to be steady in the first place, honey.

[Member]

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