[always confuse]

Hi April,
ever since i was very young, i always said i wanted a man who is straight forward and tells it like it is. if u like me say u do and if u don’t say u don’t and let’s move on. i don’t like to date around because i also always say that when u know, u know.
so i met this guy once about a year ago and i was instantly interested, but i found out he was in a relationship and therefore i dropped it. so about a couple of months or so ago he started talking to me again and i found out he was single now and things got serious very fast…. he is very very forward and says what he thinks and how he feels and all (which i always wanted 🙂 )…. we are both very busy and usually our schedules clash… so we’ve been having this texting/phone/chatting thing but we haven’t gone in any dates or anything yet but i like him … i miss him all the time and stuff and he is nice and its cute and very out of character for me because i don’t act like that ever and according to my friends i’m “”the cold/ “what do u want form me”/doesn’t do emotions”” 🙄 kind who over analyzes everything ….
he says that its funny but i seem to have some sort of effect on him that its new to him and it feels kinda good and stuff …. anyway so he told me that he loved me last night 😮 (to which i answered “y r u telling me these things” and he said because i love u and i said “i don’t know what to say to that”) and that freaked me out a little and i feel like the whole mood was broken a bet 😐 … i personally feel like its a bet early to be saying things like that (although i always say when u know, u know) but maybe i was talking about me only 😕
so i’d like to know how to test credibility (koz i mean we don’t know each other that well even though i like him a little) and how to slow things down a bet because i want it to work but the rapidity of his feelings are acting almost like a cold shower on me, scaring me and making me seriously think and rethink everything ….
thank you 😕

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like the relationship is more like a close friendship because you haven’t dated at all, so when he starts saying he loves you, never having taken you on a date or kissed you, it is understandable that the order of things feels off. 😕

There are certain things you can do to let a man know what you expect from him in terms of a relationship that will help you. For instance, if you want to be his girlfriend, act like girlfriend material — not good friend material. Don’t be around so much for him so that if he wants to see you he HAS to ask you out on a date. If a man wants to be your boyfriend he’ll act like he wants to be your boyfriend, and if a man wants to get married, he’ll act like he wants to get married.

You can read all about this in Think & Date Like A Man, a book I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. Right. You can download and read the book here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

You won’t feel so scared or unsettled if the relationship eases into “I love you” in a more conventional way. So play your part in steering it there for this guy — or anyone else you may date.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go. And join me on Facebook. Here’s the link for AskApril.com on Facebook: [url][/url].

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