[mekoko]

Hello,

I’ll try to explain my story briefly. So I started talking to this girl through an online dating app. After few days we exchanged numbers and started texting. We talked for about a lil than 2 months daily, more than 5 to 7 hrs a day. We both know how the other one looks like since we have each other on instagram, and send pictures to each other. I forgot to mention that I am from another country but after a month a half I moved to the states (25mins away from her place) to continue my studies.

Anyways, we both opened for each other and like each other very much. Like we talk about everything comfortably. And we both have interest in each other, and decided to date once I move to the states. Flash forward, after moving we went on a date. It was great! We both had fun and enjoyed our time. We hanged around for about 5 hrs. Laughed and never stopped talking. After the date we both expressed that we had fun and should do it again! Then…

After 2 days. She stopped texting…like vanished. I tried contacting her but no answer. After a day, she sent me a message that she is alive. But that she had a major drama with both of her roommates (she mentioned when we dated that her roommates have like really big problems) so i told her to take her time with whatever she is going through and that if she needs me I will be there for her. After a few days she blocked me on instagram and removed me. Then after that in a about a week I asked her if that if everything is fine. Not surprisingly, she complained about her roommates (friends) and that she feels that they are not her friend. And this is the last text I got from her.

“I just need space from my room mates. I can’t be emotionally supportive of you, I’m exhausted. I feel I’ll resent the next person that needs emotional support from me and that’s why I don’t want to confide in you. That sounds awful but that’s where I’m at.”

I really do like this girl. And I know she likes me too because she said/expressed that many times. What should I do? I don’t want to lose her like that

Thanks in advance

[April Masini, your AskApril]

She lost interest and moved on. 😳 My advice is that you move on, too. It’s one thing to chase someone who’s interested and giving you something to chase after, but she’s made it clear that she’s done. While she may have liked you a lot at first, her feelings changed. That’s normal, and I think that you may have gotten too invested too quickly. You were spending an awful lot of time on her and only her during the beginning of the relationship, forgetting that the two of you don’t really know each other that well.

My rule of thumb is to spend the first three months of dating getting to know each other — and yourself with this other person — and to decide if you want to even continue dating each other. You should continue to play the field and assume she is, too. After six months, decide if you want to be monogamous and commit to each other in that way. If you stick to this model of dating, you won’t get as invested so quickly, and you’ll spend more time getting to know your date than wondering why things didn’t work out. 😉

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[mekoko]

But then why did she mention that? I mean we always have been very honest to each other. And I told her before that if she doesn’t like or lose interest that she should tell me (same thing for me), I told her that because I hate the feeling of not knowing if you know what I mean.
From what I understood from her is that the pressure she has from her friends/roommates (one of them got in the ER, I think she tried to commit suicide) is making her crazy, so like she doesn’t have time and the energy to give in a relationship. I don’t it just weird lol

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]But then why did she mention that? [/quote]

She was doing her best to let you down gently.

[quote]I mean we always have been very honest to each other. And I told her before that if she doesn’t like or lose interest that she should tell me (same thing for me), I told her that because I hate the feeling of not knowing if you know what I mean. [/quote]

Long distance relationships don’t always translate into equitable in town relationships. So just because you made all these pacts during your long distance relationship doesn’t mean that they will “stick” once you start dating in town. And just because you have these strong feelings about honesty doesn’t mean that she has them, too, in spite of her agreeing to behave as if she does. 😥

[quote]From what I understood from her is that the pressure she has from her friends/roommates (one of them got in the ER, I think she tried to commit suicide) is making her crazy, so like she doesn’t have time and the energy to give in a relationship. I don’t it just weird lol[/quote]

She’s using the roommates as an excuse. Otherwise she wouldn’t have blocked you from her social media.

Bottom line: In response to your question that is the title to your post, “What should I do?”, the answer is: Time to move on. 🙂

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