[shnookie123]

So it has been around 2 and a half years since I broke up with this guy and now all of a sudden I’m really missing him. I find myself being unable to sleep because I can’t stop thinking about him and what we had before things went wrong. Here’s the problem though, I broke up with him because he got too jealous and he became very overprotective, he abused me mentally and after the first few months of being together it got to the point where I’d be crying every day. I was too scared to stand up to him, I finally did and although he was willing to change for me I didn’t think it was possible and I’d had enough so that’s how things ended. He didn’t take it very well, he adored me and no man since him has made me feel that loved.
About a year ago, he spoke to me about how regretted everything he did, he was very apologetic and he was hoping that we could move on from that and be friends. We never really kept in contact after that though. I keep thinking perhaps he has changed and I know for definite if I said the word he’d come straight back to me. I’m really unsure of what I should do though, my family and friends know what he did to me and I think they’d disapprove. But maybe they’d be right in telling me to just forget about him, I have this idea that if I started talking to him again and got to know him properly for who he is now then I can decide from there. Although another part of me is telling me to just leave it and deal with it somehow, I feel really torn, some advice would be very appreciated 🙁

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The question I’ll ask you to ask yourself is, why now? Your reasons for having broken up with this guy a year ago are very compelling, and while he’s apologized to you, he hasn’t shown you that anything has changed. So, you need to figure out what’s going on in your life now that is making you search backwards, instead of looking forwards to someone new.

My guess, without knowing you, is that the prospect of dating and finding true love, is daunting. You’re not alone if this is the case. 😉 Yet, shying away from the hard work isn’t going to bring you any closer to your goal of having a healthy, happy relationship. Instead of reconsidering someone from your past who you say was abusive and left you crying daily, why not look into your future and get out there and find someone who is a great fit for you, all around? 😀 That’s my advice.

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[shnookie123]

Yeah, I think you’re right, I need to let go of the past and move on with the future but everything does seem a bit daunting. It seems that I’m remembering all the good things instead of the many negatives about being with him. I’ve took on board what you’ve said and it’s made me realise that someone else could be so much better for me, I just haven’t found the right man yet haha, thank you so much!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you’re focusing on the good times from an abusive relationship because you don’t have a present relationship or a plan for the future. 😉 Make a goal to meet 20 new men each day — smile, flirt, make small talk — and if you do that, you’ll be expending energy on a proactive, positive, quest for finding Mr. Right, instead of looking in the rearview mirror, where the view is never quite as clear as it is when you focus on what’s in front of you! 🙂

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And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

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