[Anonymous]

What should I do about my gf? Should I break up or preferably how can I fix this? Okay so me and y girlfriends have been having a problem. When we first met we both smoked weed. I smoked for about 3 months then I stopped and I regret ever smoking. Ever since I found out my gf smoked I hated it and I could even stand the thought of her touching a drug. Also she told me she thinks cigarettes are disgusting and she promised me she would never touch one. Every time I saw her smoke or I knew she was smoking it made me feel sick to my stomach and part of the reason why I stopped is because I was hoping she would to. I stopped 3 months ago. Also I have another problem, I cut my arms especially when I’m depressed. My gf couldn’t stand it when I do this. So she promised me that she’d never smoke again if I never cut again and i agreed. Then five days later she came over to my house stoned. So that night I cut my self and showed her and she got pissed at me for cutting, I haven’t cut since then. So she apologized for smoking the next day and said she would stop. It’s been about 2 weeks since then and she said she wanted to go hangout with 2 other guys from our school and smoke while I was going out of town for the weekend. I was seriously so fed up with the whole situation I told her to go do whatever she wants but she said she didn’t want to hurt me so she said she wouldn’t. The day after I left I texted her and asked her what she had been up to and she said she went to a guy’s house that I’ve never met before and they were smoking cigarettes but I had nothing to worry about. So I got mad because she promised me she would never smoke cigarettes but she still did and she denied ever making that promise. I was so crushed after this I literally started crying and I don’t know what to do. I really love her and I want to be with her but I feel like this is too much to deal with. What should I do? And please I don’t want a bunch of smokers to tell me how its not that bad. You have to see from my point of view every time she smokes it makes me depressed because I just can’t stand the thought of her smoking even if it isn’t bad for her.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The problem isn’t her smoking or the relationship. The problem is that you cut yourself when you’re depressed or feel an emotion that is overwhelming you. You have to take responsibility for your own health first and foremost before you can be in a relationship with anyone.

Clearly emotions come in very strong for you and you feel the need to cut yourself or self medicate with marijuana when your emotions overwhelm you. Neither of these behaviors are helping you because this problem of dealing with your emotions seems to be getting worse and is keeping you from being in a healthy relationship. 😳

My advice is that you let go of this girlfriend and don’t date until you have a better handle on your own emotions and mental health. Cutting is a serious problem. Go see your doctor and get a physical and ask for medical help with this problem. You have to get your own life in order and only then will you be in a position to choose a woman who is healthy and happy and can bring you that same happiness and peace in a relationship.

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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