- This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 11 months ago by
April Masini, your AskApril.
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April 11, 2011 at 9:16 am #3690
togetoverhim
Member #48,992Hi
Here is the thing. I have met a guy online 2 years ago, and I was very skeptical about online dating and such relationships, plus I was dealing with breakup then, plus this guy was from a completely other part of the Earth. Talking to him at first, was very cool, he was always around, we had lots in common, and it was so easy to talk and laugh, every time I talked to him I had a feeling I found my real home and that that is where I belong. As we live too far away from each other, I thought I could never fall so much for him and that we will probably stop talking after some time and move on easily, or stay good friends and support each other in new relationships- I didn’t take it too seriously at first.. After a while I caught myself having coffee with friends, or working , or doing something else, and I wasn’t able to concentrate on anything else but on that picture of me and him together…. then I rushed home and got online immediately in order to talk to him and to see him on web cam. But I never fully trusted him, I thought as soon as he meets someone in real world, he would forget about me. But as the days and months were passing by, he kept convincing me that we were meant to be. For whole 2 years we spent 4-5 hours talking on skype and sharing everything and I really felt so much loved, like never before. He was supportive, committed and he seemed to enjoy talking to me. Then, when I was so madly in love with him, he started to avoid me everywhere and he started to ignore my messages and my calls. I was in vain. I was begging him to tell me what is the matter and that if he has met someone else, that I can stand it better then avoiding. He kept convincing me that there is none else, but that he has problems with work and that he needs some time off for himself. Since then we keep arguing and I see him adding new girls all the time, they are commenting on everything he posts and complimenting him in every way…. I am losing control, I know there is nothing else I can do but to move on and to get over him… and I know, even if he is claiming the opposite, that his love for me has stopped…. and I hate myself being like this…. every time I see he is interacting with another girl, I send him a message full of anger and jealousy… then I regret for that immediately. I just can’t control myself… I am losing my dignity, my self esteem and my self confidence vanished long time ago…. I am not sleeping, nor eating properly and I feel horrible pain in my chest and in my left arm….and what hurts me most is that he started giving me advices on how to backup now…. though his aims are good… I feel so humiliated and weak. I have been trough breakup before, and not once, but it never hurt this much.. and I don’t know how to move on and what to do. I feel like I’ve lost all the power and control over my behavior. I can’t stop wondering how can someone be like that for whole 2 years and then, all of a sudden turn into this what he is now. I just wish I could convince him to talk to me and to listen to me one more time, but that is impossible. He just keeps ignoring me.How to get out from here?
Lost soulApril 13, 2011 at 9:30 pm #17431
April Masini, your AskAprilKeymasterThis is very easy — but you don’t seem to WANT to move on, and that’s the problem. You committed yourself for two years to a man who never once bought you dinner, flowers, kissed you or attempted to take you to bed. And still, you gave him four hours of your time a day? 😯 Are you kidding? This was[i]not[/i] a smart dating move on your part. When a man wants to date you, he will. Long distance dating works — if you actually date. But you never did. You basically took yourself off the market and committed yourself to someone who was giving you nothing except internet time and promises that you bought hook, line and sinker.😕 The problem in this relationship started before you even MET this guy. Allowing yourself to make this kind of commitment is at the root of your real problem.But, now he’s dumped you and you are having trouble moving on, so let’s deal with this second problem — here’s what you need to do:
First step: Buy Think & Date Like A Man,
, so you can understand HOW to date smart and find a man who is committed to you. Second step: Immediately stop talking to any and all men on the internet who don’t live within ten miles of your home. Period. Cold turkey. Third: If you really want to get over this guy, stop communicating with him. He’s not interested any more. Be grateful that you’re not going to waste any more years of your life on Mr. Wrong. Take this rejection as a gift so that you can now GET OUT THERE!! and meet Mr. Right.[url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html [/url] I’m sorry this is difficult for you, but you have to learn the steps to date smart so you don’t find yourself with the wrong guy again!
Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link:
.[url][/url] 😀 -
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