[chesssoccer]

Why would someone who is over you and uninterested in any relationship with you (and knows you to be someone who will frequently apologize and smooth over any problems in the relationship), not make it absolutely clear they don’t want to speak to you anymore? I had a guy tell me he needed “space”, and then ignored me for quite awhile. When I texted him about the real reason he needed his “space”, knowing he was uninterested in a relationship with me and that who asked for no contact from me and although his answer was helpful to me in understanding the problem, it didn’t really change the fact that he wasn’t interested in me, and he replied that we would talk soon. I can’t imagine he meant that, so why say that? Why, when you know you don’t want contact with someone, and are completely certain this person is no longer someone you want to remain in contact with and that you will never contact them again (and are hoping they never contact you again as well), would you put something like that in any contact with them that might lead them to hope for more contact from you or that might lead them to think more contact from you might be acceptable at this point? To me, when you ask for no contact and the person you ask for no contact from continues to contact you (frequently or infrequently) you want to remain firm in your actions (and words) so as not to confuse what you expect from them in terms of the current relationship. I suppose it could have been a thoughtless reaction, but might it also mean they had a change of heart about the situation? How should I handle the situation from this point forward?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you’ve already written to me under another registered user name, on this same issue, but I’ll address it again on the off chance that I’m wrong. 😉

[quote]Why would someone who is over you and uninterested in any relationship with you (and knows you to be someone who will frequently apologize and smooth over any problems in the relationship), not make it absolutely clear they don’t want to speak to you anymore?[/quote]

If he’s over you and uninterested in you, and you know he’s over you and uninterested in you, then he did make it absolutely clear. I’m not sure what more you needed from him. When a guy says he needs space, he doesn’t want to see you. 😳

[quote]When I texted him about the real reason he needed his “space”, knowing he was uninterested in a relationship with me and that who asked for no contact from me and although his answer was helpful to me in understanding the problem, it didn’t really change the fact that he wasn’t interested in me, and he replied that we would talk soon. I can’t imagine he meant that, so why say that?[/quote]

He said it because he didn’t want to deal with you. He’d already told you he didn’t want space, but you didn’t take the hint. He said he’d talk to you soon to get away from you. 😳

[quote]Why, when you know you don’t want contact with someone, and are completely certain this person is no longer someone you want to remain in contact with and that you will never contact them again (and are hoping they never contact you again as well), would you put something like that in any contact with them that might lead them to hope for more contact from you or that might lead them to think more contact from you might be acceptable at this point?[/quote]

He wasn’t really thinking about you when he said that. He just wanted to get away, so he said he’d talk soon. Actions speak louder than words, and the fact that he wasn’t contacting you, and that he’d told you he wanted space, were his ways of telling you it was over. He could have been more direct with you — you’re absolutely right. But he wasn’t.

[quote]I suppose it could have been a thoughtless reaction, but might it also mean they had a change of heart about the situation? [/quote]

Definitely not. He doesn’t want contact with you. He didn’t have a change of heart, although I know you wish he did. 🙁 He just wants to move on with his life without you without conflict.

[quote]How should I handle the situation from this point forward?[/quote]

Don’t contact him again. It’s time for you to move on. There are better boyfriends for you out there. 😀

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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