[Anonymous]

Hi,
So just need some advice. I’m seeing my girlfriend for about a year. There’s no real problems, we don’t argue at all, she nice, sweet, good looking. I just don’t know about it though.

I work in the U.S. on a visa. One thing is, I always kinda think I’ll end up returning home eventually. Prob not right now or in the next year or so but eventually I’ll probably end up wanting to go home.

Other things are, we have fun but on some stuff we don’t quite match.

I’m the kinda guy who loves going out, going out for dinner, drinks, out with my friends. She a very stay at home sort of person. It drives me nuts sometimes. She tries to come out sometimes with me and my friends but I always feel I’m holding back, I don’t know if she enjoys it.

I’d love to go away more with her but over valentines, I tried to surprise her with such a trip. We had a little fun by day but ended up in bed by 8pm. We were away, I’d like dinner, drinks, to go out see the town but we were in bed by 8. We could do that at home and stops me organising other weekends.

This weekend, while my friends went out, my housemate invited me out with him and his girl, we sat in, watched a movie and just sat infront of the TV all day today. If she wasnt there I’d probably have been out and about for the weekend but as it is I sat home. I’m a little restless, I don’t like sitting around for long periods.

It might sound vain but she’s a beautiful girl. But she wears clothes with a years old most of the time. I don’t really know why, like she’s been wearing a pair of snowboots which are falling apart all winter. To work, to hang out, to the cinema, to going out anywhere. She’s like a kid. I don’t mean to sound so vain but it is sexy when a girl looks like she makes an effort. Her style I feel hasnt changed since she was a teenager and most of the clothes were probably bought then. A new pair of shoes or a nice top or dress and she’d be a knockout.

She’s crazy about animals, I’m not, she lives with cats and dogs. I just don’t want them.

She’s very conservative. Not necessarily a bad thing but I sometimes feel I have to watch my words around her. Usually I’m a live and let live kinda guy. With her she gets offended easily over things I’d take as a joke or not serious. She gets involved in all these causes, while it’s commendable it can be over the top a bit.

Sometimes I just feel like I put a lot of things off to keep her happy. I want to make her happy but things like going out and doing stuff is just me. I end up putting it off. I go out way less. I see my friends less and hear from them less and hate being that guy.

What do you think? We don’t fight or argue, she’s a lovely person, I love her very much as a person but sometimes feel we are incompatible or that being from a different place I will eventually want to settle at home and maybe this isn’t for that best. What do you think? Sometimes I think these things on my own but when I see her she’s just so lovely I can’t bring myself to be mad or annoyed over things. I just bothers me.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s a lot easier for most people to break up when their partner is awful, betrays them or lies. When someone is a nice person, but is just incompatible, it’s often harder to move on. But clearly, you’ve come to the conclusion that the two of you are incompatible and after a year, you want a better match. The reasons you’ve cited are valid and you’re just worried about breaking up with someone who’s a nice person, but not right for you.

Well, it’s time.

If you continue to stay with her, with that laundry list of incompatibilities, you’re going to get bitter, resentful and you’ll end up picking fights that will lead to a dramatic break up that you probably recognize. Instead, try to do the mature and more difficult thing by breaking up with your girlfriend so that you can have a chance to find someone who better suits you, and so she can find the same.

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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