[kinkatdrone]

I’ve just ended an awful relationship with my Fiance,
After being together almost 11 months, having moved 13000 miles to the other side of the world to stay with him when he moved back home, and being six months pregnant the realtionship ended because he couldn’t be faithful and has been with alot of other girls since knowing I’m pregnant. I have since come home to my family and friends who are being incredibly supportive and loving.

Now, I know my ex-fiance is obviously a complete scum-bag, but he did contact me a few times with countless apologies and concerns about me and my son, but thats too little too late. I told him if he cant be faithful and stay away from other girls then he cant be in my life, and he ceased contact.

Now, theres this other guy, who i’d been close friends with for a while before leaving and we’d always had feelings of more than friendship for each other, he has been a constant support, making an effort to mail and speak to me everyday I was away. when I came home, I had an experience of fainting and being in hospital for a few days and he put the time aside to see me whilst i was in there and do anything he could to make me feel better, since getting out he has also seen me almost everyday and calls when he cant. He has offered to go to the antenatal classes with me and be there for me when my baby is born. Now he is amazing, and I cant express how happy I am that theres a guy that isnt a complete douche, in the world! But, how can I know that he really will stay around? its a big responsibility to take on to be there and support me even when it isnt his baby, I’m just afraid that he’ll freak and run when he realizes that alot of things will change when he’s born, I wont have as much time to see him or do things with him and my son will take priority. I’d like to be able to have a realationship with him, I’d love to have this all have a happily ever after, but I’m just not sure if he’s quite for real. Maybe i’m just paranoid becuase of everything thats happened with my ex and Im just afraid to committ and be used and abused again!?

Also, my stupid ex has been contacting him saying he wants the chance to change and come back into my life, to be there for me and my son and support us as he’s realized its what he should have done… I find that a little hard to believe since its not me hes attempting to talk to about it… Buyt now theres a fresh fear in my mind that all my feelings and lovwe for him will return after my son is born and i’ll be stupid enough to ask him to come back or something. I dont want him in my sons life if hes only going to be around till he finds something new to entertain him, but he is still the father, I still feel that is he really gave a damn about me or his son he’d have supported me and helped me not just copped off with other women and not given the slightest concern to me at all.

Maybe I just have too many emotions and hormones floating around but what should I do? This new guy is amazing, and supportive, but how do i know that will last? and mI still lvoe my ex fiance becuase he is the father of my child and and I did committ to wanting to spend my life with him.

HELP?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re super emotional right now, late in your pregnancy and that is understandable, HOWEVER….you seem to be quite lucid about the situation and here’s my advice:

Your ex-fiance isn’t going to change. He is going to put himself above you and his son, so accept that that is who he is. When the baby is born, get a court order for child support and visitation so that your son can be supported by his father. You can’t and shouldn’t try to erase your ex from your son’s life because it’s important for children to know their parents and make their way in the world.

That said, your new guy seems like a real ace right now, and he’s doing everything right. I think you should talk to him about your fears and concerns. They’re real and you’re vulnerable, but remember that there is no insurance for marriage short of a pre-nuptial agreement, and that only protects property — not your heart! The divorce rate is a testament to the fact that relationships do end, so your fear that this guy may leave at some point, isn’t coming out of a fantasy. BUT…. you shouldn’t close your heart off to love just because some relationships don’t work out. That he is showing up when you’re down and out and wanting to be a part of your son’s life, are wonderful qualities.

Move forward with this guy. Be smart. And talk to him about your concerns. Being alone isn’t pleasant, but it’s not the worst thing in the world, and ironically, if you don’t put your heart out there, you’ll be just that — alone, anyway.

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes. And follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

Posts