[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my partner since we were both 17. We are now 24. We have been together for 7 years.
We have lived together for the past 5 years. We share a mortgage together. We bought a car together and share a bank account together.
He still has not asked me to marry him.
He says that I need to improve myself before he asks, he says I need to have sex with him more before we are married. I have a naturally low sex drive and his is high. I talked to him about it and asked for compromise which seemed to help but now it’s back to how it was before (arguing about sex all the time). He is also very overweight due to an injury so I feel unattracted to him sexually at the moment, we have talked about this in a sensitive way but he continues to put himself down. He says he hates his life. He has a very stressful work life.
I am studying to be a nurse so he supports me while I study. I work a little bit. I have been angry for the past few years and I feel it keeps building up and just exploding out because I see all my friends around me who have been with their boyfriends less time than I have who are getting engaged and getting married. Everytime I think about this and the reasons that my boyfriend states for not getting married it makes me feel even more upset which further crushes my sex drive.
Should I wait it out? Am I being immature and demanding?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re not being immature and demanding. 🙂 But you are being unrealistic. If you’ve been living with him and sharing a mortgage and car payments for five years and dating for seven, and he hasn’t proposed marriage — but is instead telling you you have to “improve” yourself and that he hates his life 😕 ….I don’t think he’s ever going to propose to you.

I know you’re devastated that you’ve invested so much of your life into this relationship, but it’s time to get out now before you waste any more time or get any further entangled.

If you do have a problematic sex drive (meaning it’s a problem for you and a problem for the man in your life, then see your doctor to make sure you’re physically fit), but understand that your current situation is just going to make things worse, not better.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go — and follow me on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Member]

Posts