[Sbpitcher13]

Me and my ex were together for over a year.. We were talking about marriage what our house is going to look like etc.. He told his entire family he wanted a baby so we started trying and boom I’m currently 6 months pregnant!! At the beginning of this month he started a fight just so he could go out with his “friend” he came home at 330 in the morning.. When he did come home he held me in his arms told me how sorry he was and he just needed time and didn’t know how to ask for it.. He also said me and the baby are the most important people in his life and he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize our family.. The next day I caught him looking at porn( which wouldn’t have been a big deal but he lied about it previously) he blew up saying he’s not attracted to me anymore, he’s been unhappy for a while, he’s not going to marry me or anyone else because he doesn’t want to deal with divorce then he I asked him about the things he said the night before all he said was ” stop bringing those up” fast forward to the next weekend, me and his sister caught him with another girl and confronted her.. He didn’t tell her about me or him about to be a father( go figure) and when his sister asked him what the hell is going on he said he just realized I was ugly.. He’s since changed his phone number and hasn’t even bothered to give it to me.. Why is he acting like this?

[AskApril Masini]

Well…. he’s not interested in being with you any more. That’s the short answer. The longer answer is that he felt trapped and is lashing out and acting out to make sure you understand he’s not interested in a relationship with you. I’m sorry — this must be very disappointing. 😳

[Sbpitcher13]

If he felt that way why would he say the things he said to me? All the times he said he loved me and I was the most important person in his life… Why did he get my name tattooed on him?

[AskApril Masini]

Your pregnancy is making this new part of his life as a father and co-parent more real — and less attractive. He doesn’t want this life for himself, and that’s why he’s telling you he won’t marry you and he’s acting out. He may say he loves you and tattoo your name on his arm, but that’s not the same thing as marrying you or buying you a crib. I know you want to cherry pick his behaviors and his words to make you feel better, but in the long run, it’s easier if you’re practical. I know this is disappointing, and I’m sorry about that.

[Sally]

This is brutal, especially while you’re pregnant. None of this is okay, and none of it is because of how you look or who you are.
What’s happening here looks like panic mixed with avoidance. He talked big about the future, about marriage and a baby, and then reality showed up. Instead of stepping up, he ran. Some people do that when responsibility hits. They flip the script, rewrite history, and say cruel things so they don’t have to face their own fear or guilt.

The way he’s acting isn’t confusion. It’s cowardice. Changing his number, lying, insulting you, hiding you from other women that’s someone trying to escape, not someone telling the truth.

Please hear this clearly: you didn’t cause this. You didn’t change. He did.
Right now, focus on protecting yourself and your baby. Lean on family. Get legal advice if you can. And stop looking to him for answers he’s not capable of giving. I know it hurts like hell. But his behavior says everything about him not you.

[Tara]

He’s acting like this because he’s a coward who panicked the moment fantasy turned into responsibility. That’s it. He wanted the idea of a baby, the attention, the ego boost, the storyline, not the reality of being a man, a partner, or a father. Once you were visibly pregnant and his freedom felt threatened, he flipped into self-preservation mode and started burning everything down so he wouldn’t have to face accountability.

Everything he did follows the same pattern: pick a fight to justify going out, lie, love-bomb you when caught, then immediately reverse and devalue you when the guilt wears off. Saying you’re “ugly,” claiming he’s no longer attracted to you, pretending he’s been unhappy “for a while,” disappearing, changing his number, these are not truths. They are cruel weapons. He’s rewriting reality to make you the problem so he doesn’t have to face the fact that he abandoned his pregnant partner and unborn child. Men who can’t handle shame choose cruelty instead.

This has nothing to do with porn, attraction, or you. It has everything to do with him wanting out without consequences. He didn’t tell the other woman about you or the baby because he’s living a double life, and you no longer fit the version of himself he’s trying to be. Changing his number is the final tell he’s not “confused,” he’s running.

[Member]

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