[Curious]

April,

I have known this woman for a while now. Every time I would run into her she was very friendly to me. We finally went out together with a couple friends of mine. A few days before this she had told me that she was seeing someone. On the night we went out, we had a great time. She was very friendly and having fun with me and my friend and his fiance. As the night progressed she started getting friendlier and friendlier and she and I eventually had my friends drive us to my house. She spent the night with me, and woke up the next day and went to work. I told her to give me a call at the office and then we kissed and that was the last I saw of her. A few days later I walked over to her house since she lives down the street. She’s roomates with a friend of mine, and she told me she was sort of pissed that I showed up. This was after we had spoken the night she was out with us, and she said she wanted to go out for drinks with me and my friends. That caught me off guard to be honest. I lost her number so thats why I showed up the way I did. I didn’t think I was doing anything out of the ordinary.

Ever since this happened, and she see’s me out, she never says hello or anything. Its very odd to me how she has taken a complete 180. Just the other day I was walking down the street and here she comes in her car going about 80 miles an hour in a housing development that I was walking through and she passed me by , not even having the common courtesy to wave. It was almost like she was trying to run me off the road. She won’t even say hello to my friends when she seems them with me our out in public in general.

Can you please explain her bazarre behavior to me? Thank you and have a wonderful day.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Sex changes things. That’s probably an understatement in your case! Just because you’ve known someone as a friend, doesn’t mean you know them as a lover. And dating someone before sleeping with them is always a good idea because you’ll have a better idea of how they behave in a romantic relationship, which as you now know, is a lot different than in a friendly relationship.

It sounds like the sleepover date didn’t go as well for her as it did for you, and then she was super annoyed that you showed up without calling. You should know that most women really don’t like it if you just show up — especially when you don’t know them that well. It was a risky move on your part to just show up once the relationship had changed from friends to lovers.

Anyway, the bottom line is that she isn’t who you thought she was, and my advice is to move on. Pursuing her, knowing that she behaves this way and can turn on a dime, is probably not a good idea. It doesn’t sound like the two of you are a good match. Next!

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go for you, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Curious]

April,

Whats with the bazarre behavior though? I’ve never experienced a woman act this way towards myself. What I mean by that is that if we did spend the night together, when they saw me the next time, the woman was civlized and classy enough to say hello and not act like I was her worst enemy in the world.

She slept over, what is the big deal? Yeah she slept in the same bed as me and we fooled around? What did she expect? Me to be the greatest lover in the world, the first time we slept together, after being out all night long for my birthday? Thats unrealistic.

Your thoughts please.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Let me try this again….. she’s behaving the way she does because she isn’t happy about the date or your coming over unannounced. It sounds like she’s immature and doesn’t have the social tools to be polite. Or else she’s just a rude person, and although you’ve known her for a while, you haven’t known her in a dating circumstance. Now you do. And I don’t think you like what you know any more. 😳

Instead of focusing on her reaction, my advice is to move on. 😉

[Curious]

Let me get this off my chest.

Its been 2 months since the date happened. Why would she still be mad at me? What did I do that was so bad to treat me and my friends poorly, who treated her wonderfully all night long? She didn’t spend one penny all night long with us. We bought her drinks, we paid for her dinner. What kind of woman wouldn’t think that the date went well if she was taken care of like that?

LOL Its just been on my mind cause I have never experienced this before with anyone. This is my last post on the subject. Please respond one more time and then we can put this to rest. Thank you 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Why would she still be mad at me?[/quote]

Because she senses that you’re still holding on and she wants you to understand that she’s not interested in you in so she’s showing you by acting angry.

[quote]What did I do that was so bad to treat me and my friends poorly, who treated her wonderfully all night long?
[/quote]
She didn’t treat your friends poorly. She just treated you poorly. And the reason she’s treating you poorly is because she doesn’t have the tools to be graceful or mature about the situation and her feelings. 😳 I’m not sure you did anything bad. And it seems you don’t either. But she’s still angry.

[quote]What kind of woman wouldn’t think that the date went well if she was taken care of like that?
[/quote]
You’re not looking at it from her point of view. I’m not saying you did anything wrong at all, but clearly, something didn’t go well and instead of accepting that, you’re trying to make her be wrong or a bad person. I’m not sure any of that is true.

I hope that helps and you can move on. 😉

[Curious]

lol I don’t even say a word to her when I see her out at the same places.

I’m not the one giving her evil stares from across the room when we run into eachother. But she completely ignores not only me, but the friends that were with us that night witnessed how she was acting.

She more than likely is emberassed and feels guilty that she acted like a whore in front of them. Also knowing that she was seeing someone when this happened, she is afraid that they will call her out on it in public and word will get around quick of what she did. What do you think?

This is my last post. I know I said this before, but I had to reply one last time.

[Curious]

P.S. She is treating my friends poorly by completely ignoring them when she see’s them out. They are bothered by that. They didn’t do anything to her. They did drop us off at my house though. Also, If socializing with her and treating her to a nice dinner and drinks is bad, then I don’t know what planet she lives on.

Also remember again, this happened 2 months ago. When I walk down the street, I don’t have to feel like someone is gonna drive by me and try to run me off the road. This is very bazarre behavior on her part April.

I guess you could say that the reason this is bothering me still is because its starting to feel like some crazy person is after me or something.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I know you’re hurt and angry that she’s not behaving the way you want her to, but this forum is really to help you improve on your situation. 🙂 Lashing out at her and spending all this time and energy on talking about how she’s a bad person isn’t going to help you or your friends. 🙁

Instead, my suggestion is that you learn from the experience. You skipped a lot of steps that might have allowed you to get to know her so you wouldn’t be in this situation. First of all, as I said before, don’t show up at someone’s house after one date, without calling and making sure it’s okay to come by. Not everybody is as neighborly as you are. Some people like their privacy. A lot!

Second, date someone a few times to get to know them before introducing them to your friends. It sounds like you’re angry at her for ignoring your friends, but you’re ignoring your part in this scenario — which is bringing a date you don’t really know very well, into a situation where she’s meeting your friends. Like showing up at her house without calling, you assumed she’d be okay with it because you are. Now you have this experience to learn from and use for future. Getting to know who she is, and what kind of character she has BEFORE you involve other people like family and friends will allow you to avoid this situation next time. 😉

Having sex on the first date can be risky because you don’t know each other. Sometimes guys just want to have sex, but clearly, you wanted more than that. Slow down next time if your intention is a relationship. You really have to get to know people so you don’t end up in this type of situation.

But most of all, let go. It didn’t work out and that’s your cue to move on rather than stay engaged in talking badly about someone who just wasn’t a good match. 😉

[Curious]

[quote=”April Masini”]I know you’re hurt and angry that she’s not behaving the way you want her to, but this forum is really to help you improve on your situation. 🙂 Lashing out at her and spending all this time and energy on talking about how she’s a bad person isn’t going to help you or your friends. 🙁

Instead, my suggestion is that you learn from the experience. You skipped a lot of steps that might have allowed you to get to know her so you wouldn’t be in this situation. First of all, as I said before, don’t show up at someone’s house after one date, without calling and making sure it’s okay to come by. Not everybody is as neighborly as you are. Some people like their privacy. A lot!

Second, date someone a few times to get to know them before introducing them to your friends. It sounds like you’re angry at her for ignoring your friends, but you’re ignoring your part in this scenario — which is bringing a date you don’t really know very well, into a situation where she’s meeting your friends. Like showing up at her house without calling, you assumed she’d be okay with it because you are. Now you have this experience to learn from and use for future. Getting to know who she is, and what kind of character she has BEFORE you involve other people like family and friends will allow you to avoid this situation next time. 😉

Having sex on the first date can be risky because you don’t know each other. Sometimes guys just want to have sex, but clearly, you wanted more than that. Slow down next time if your intention is a relationship. You really have to get to know people so you don’t end up in this type of situation.

But most of all, let go. It didn’t work out and that’s your cue to move on rather than stay engaged in talking badly about someone who just wasn’t a good match. 😉[/quote]

You still didn’t answer my question. Or maybe you did and I just missed it.

Why is she acting in such an immature manner? The people I have been around just don’t stop talking to someone cause they showed up at their house unexpected. Thats pretty childish behavior to be honest and is not normal. Do you agree or don’t you agree?

A mature adult (She is 12 years older than me btw) would not ignore people just because they were bothered that he brought them around his friends. That makes no sense.

Number 2, why would a woman be so upset with a man to try to run him off the road if she only spent the night at his house one time, and didn’t even date him? I could see a woman doing that if she was cheated on, but this woman was the one doing the cheating on her boyfriend with a younger man. That would be me.

She really has no right to be doing the things she is doing. Its been 2 months since we went on that date. I don’t know why I should be subjected to her giving me an evil stare from across the room or having to jump out of the way of her car when she drives down the street. Maybe we are dealing with a mental issue here that is very serious. I did find out recently that she has been divorced 4 times.

[Curious]

I also would like to let you know, I’m far from hurt. I’m just confused out of my mind why this woman is still acting like a psycho towards me. Also what kind of woman that are normal, would ignore my friends who did nothing? That makes no sense at all.

Unless you know the answer to why she would be mad at my friends, I guess it always will be a mystery and something we can never figure out about this woman.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’ve answered your questions multiple times here, but for some reason you’re not ready to accept the answers. 😳 [i]And now, you’re doing to me exactly what you’ve done to her.[/i] You’re holding on and refusing to let go because you don’t agree with or like something.

[b]You really need to let go and move on. [/b]

I”m sorry, but I can’t help you any more. 😳 This is a free advice site, and I think I’ve helped you as much as I can.

Good luck! 😀

[Curious]

Holding on and not letting go? Are you crazy April?

I don’t even talk to her anymore.

I went over to her house a few days after we went out because I didn’t have her number. I lost it to be honest.

Whats the big deal with that?

The reason I am upset is because of the abuse she is showing me two months later, such as trying to run me off the road and treating my friends (Who have done nothing but be kind to her) like they don’t exist. You got to be kidding me here.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If she’s trying to run you off the road… you shouldn’t go over to her house! 😕 That’s what I meant by not letting go.

[Member]

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