[sweetpea37]

Recently i wrote how my GF found out by way of making a phone call that the man she had been sleeping with had a live in GF. This news caused her to have breakdown.

Since the original phone call was made 2 weeks ago(no other calls have been to this mans number since then) she went to check the messages on this phone and heard a very threatning message left by this man.

she told me he said that he didn’t know who it was who was calling his number,his “girl” number but that if they didn’t stop there were going to be some serious repercussions that he knew people.

i wish my GF would just forget about this man and move on with her life. it’s very obvious that this man is no good.

she still wants to know if he’ll show up one day. I told her somewhere down the road that he probably would but not anytime soon. I was like why wouldn’t he. he’s done all kinds of stuff to this woman in the past(not to this degree)so why wouldn’t he try to come back knowing that no matter what he does she’ll take him back.

Why would he do this not even knowing who made the actual call?

Is this all fear driven? Was he putting on a show for his live in GF as to prove to her that nothing was going on?

or could it be that because he really doesn’t know who made the original phone call that he was on a fishing expedition to see if he would get a response from the person/anyone as to know who made the phone call?

[Ask April Masini]

For future, please link your new posts about the same subject together. It’s much easier for me and for other readers to follow your story and understand all the details! 🙂

I do, however, remember this story, and I’ve advised you on this forum that your friend needs to cut off contact with this man who’s wasted years of her life by living a double life and hiding it from her. Obviously, she didn’t take my advice, but now her personal problems appear to be escalating: [b]WHY IS SHE CHECKING HIS VOICE MAIL? [/b]Isn’t that illegal? It’s definitely not healthy.

My advice to [i]you[/i] is to find a new friend. This one has problems that are going to zap your energy. She wants to be a victim, and she’s now crossed a line into being an aggressor by breaking into his voicemail system without his knowing. I am quite certain that whatever wrong this guy did he does not want her checking his messages. Two wrongs don’t make a right. 😳 There is no justification for her behavior.

Find friends who want to be healthy and stop doing charity work for those who don’t accept the charity. I know that sounds harsh, but being a good person means accepting the limits of what you can and cannot do. You cannot help this woman who does not want to be helped. If you really want to help people — find those who will accept your help and are committed to healthy relationships!

I hope that helps YOU! 😀

Please join me on Facebook. Here’s the link for AskApril.com on Facebook: [url][/url].

[sweetpea37]

You must have misunderstood me.
She didn’t break into his voicemail.

My GF had a cell phone of her own that she had a friend of hers use to make the phone call to his number(no it wasn’t me.I’m not getting caught up in that type of maddness.)

It was HER voicemail that this man left the messages on not HIS.

She called into HER voice mail and got the message about him doing all these foul things if whoever it was that kept calling his house etc..

I hope I clarified the situation for you.

My GF may be stupid with a lot of things but she isn’t that stupid to do something criminal.

[Ask April Masini]

You’re right — I did misunderstand you. I’m sorry for that! 😳 Thank you for clarifying! 🙂 Now that I think I understand the details, it seems like your friend is calling this guy’s phone over and over and whether she leaves a message for him or he just sees her number on his caller id, he is asking her not to call. Well, threatening her if she does call again, really.

The simple solution is for her to stop calling. I stand by my advice that she should not contact him in any way again. Clearly she didn’t take that advice — calling his phone and even if she is hanging up seems to be a form of contact. He can block her phone number or change his phone number if possible. I suppose he can try and get a restraining order against her for harassing him since it’s not hard to find out the owner of the phone number.

It’s unfortunate that she is on the path she is on right now. It’s self destructive. I’m sure it’s taking up a lot of her energy, too.

My advice to YOU is to stop discussing this with her. If that’s all she talks about with you (which keeps the relationship with him alive in her mind) then don’t talk to her any more for a while. You can explain to her why you’re cutting her off before you do it, as an opportunity for her to change her behavior, but if she doesn’t, I don’t think you have a choice. By talking to her about this guy you’re helping her stay in the relationship — which is getting sicker and sicker because he doesn’t want her.

I’m sorry that you want the best for your friend and she isn’t ready to have the best yet, but you have to have healthy boundaries for yourself. They will attract other healthy people into your life and that’s what I want for you. 🙂

I hope that helps, and that you’ll join me on Facebook. Here’s the link: [url][/url].

[sweetpea37]

I can’t say for sure if sha has been calling.

I do know if she is calling it isn’t with the cell phone she originally used because that phone is in my possession.

If she is calling then she’s using another phone or even a pay phone.

I don’t believe cell phone numbers are traceble and besides I really don’t think he knows it her and if he does has no real proof any way.

What bothers me is that I have a very strange feeling that this guy is going to contact her some kind of way after much time goes by because(I could be wrong with this) IMO that whatever the message said I believe it was big show for his GF as to prove to her that there isn’t anything happening and that i was all some kind of sick prank.

Could be wrong with this. Just my opinion.

In all seriouness I feel he will try to look her up one day. Very unhealthy situation if you ask me.

[sweetpea37]

I can’t tell you if she has called his number or his GF’s number since that one day but if she has called again it isn’t with the cell phone that she originally used. I have that one here with me.

As for being able to trace the number I don’t believe cell phones are tracable.

What really bothers me is I believe that what he did (as far as the messages he left are concerned) was nothing but a HUGE show for his GF and that one day he will in fact contact her again and fear that she will just accept this man back and continue doing whatever it is they do.

It couldn’t be me. I wouldn’t be able to even be in the same space as him after finding out that I was sleeping with someone elses man.

I hope she makes the right decision and stay completely away.

[Ask April Masini]

If this is really about you and you’re hiding behind “your friend” then I wish you’d be honest here. If it’s not about you then you need to stop dealing with this problem. It’s not your problem. It’s someone else’s. Let it alone and live your own life.

If you live a happy and healthy life you won’t find yourself looking to make other peoples’ problems yours. Focus on you — not this other person. 🙂

And join me on Facebook! That’s a nice start for focusing on yourself. Here’s the link: [url][/url].

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