[Anonymous]

For about three months I was dating a guy who I found was absolutely perfect for me. We are both in college, but he is a class under me. When I really didn’t think that I would find anyone for a while or TRY to find anyone for a while, I stumbled upon the type of guy I thought I would never find. We had the same taste in music, our personalities fit together like puzzle pieces, we went to the same school and were from the same town, everyone thought we were good together.

We had the best relationship, and he always told me “I know that we aren’t 100% official yet, but I’m not going anywhere.” Everyone loved us together. Well suddenly winter break came, and I wasn’t worried about it because although we hadn’t ever known each other we lived very close to each other. Well we hung out a few times in the first two weeks and had fun, just as always, but I started feeling a disconnect. Then suddenly he stopped talking to me for about a week. It was after that that he told me that he felt differently about me but he was very hesitant and fidgety. I let him know that I indeed wanted to be friends a few days later. I really don’t know how we went from perfect at school to horrible at home. I know that he has a very, very close group of friends from home who did not seem to want to know me by any means. I just think there was some external factor. Why does this seem funny? Does coming home change things?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Coming home for winter break doesn’t have to change things, but it can. It sounds like whatever happened to your boyfriend during winter break, he’s decided he’s not interested in being a couple any more. It’s hard to accept that someone doesn’t have the same feelings that you do at the same time, but that’s what makes relationships so tricky!

I know that his changing his mind about you seems funny or odd to you, but it’s impossible for you to know what he’s feeling and what he’s doing when he’s not with you. That said, one day you WILL meet a guy who wants to be with you during winter break — or if he can’t be with you, will want you in his heart and mind even when he’s not with you.

Winter break doesn’t have to be like this, and not all men react the same way. The thing about dating is that it takes these kinds of experiences to understand that people are different, and the more time you spend dating the more you’ll get to know who is right and who isn’t — for YOU!!

I’m sorry that this relationship didn’t work out for you, but don’t give up hope. There’s someone out there for you, and now you’re free to find him. 🙂

[Member]

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