[JustinB]

So I’ve been out with this girl a couple times now. I’m pretty sure she likes me she’s very affectionate wanting to hold hands and stand with her head on my shoulder and all that and we’ve kissed after both dates. She’s even started to call me baby. But she’s told me that in the past guys have come on too strong with their feelings towards her and it freaks her out. I really like her and I can picture her being a long term relationship.. I guess my question is should I ask her if she can see us being together long term or just let it play out and see what happens?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Definitely don’t ask her — that’s exactly the kind of thing that she’s told you will push her away! 😮 You’ve only been out a couple of times, so for you to bring up a future together is definitely jumping the gun. Instead, just date her, get to know her, enjoy your time together, and consider this time table that I advise: Use the first three months of dating to decide if you want to continue dating her, and the second three months of dating to decide if you want to be monogamous. In other words, slow it down, and get to know her, rather than imposing a super fast schedule that isn’t based on the relationship, but instead, is based on your anxiety. 😉

I hope that helps! Let me know how things go — and if you write again, let me know how old the two of you are.

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[JustinB]

Thank you for the advice I appreciate it… You asked our ages I’m 34 and she’s 27..maybe sense I’m a little older I felt more urgency about it

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m not sure why you feel so urgent, but you should consider focusing on your real goal — which I’m going to take the liberty of assuming is finding a happy, healthy relationship. When you rush things, you overlook what you would normally learn in the course of dating. 😉

My advice is to continue dating her, but stay open to meeting others at the same time. If, after dating for three months, you find that you want to continue dating her, you can begin to consider monogamy. This keeps your life balanced, and the pressure off! 🙂

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!

And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

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