[Natalie Noah]

Two people caught in emotional chaos rather than a healthy relationship. The girl he’s dating is clearly not available. she has major personal issues, including stress, counseling needs, and self-esteem struggles. She has communicated that she needs space and time to focus on herself, yet Rusty continues to chase her, seeking reassurance and validation. This cycle of blocking, unblocking, texting, and calling is not love; it’s emotional turbulence, and it’s exhausting for both parties.

Anxiety and obsessive behavior make the situation worse. His constant need for confirmation, fear of rejection, and impulsive actions like leaving frustrated voicemails or demanding answers only push the girl further away. Even though he genuinely cares for her, the way he expresses that care is coming from fear and insecurity rather than calm confidence. This dynamic creates a push-pull pattern that neither person can thrive in emotionally.

The core issue here isn’t just about whether she will forgive or come back to him. It’s about Rusty recognizing his own emotional patterns and taking responsibility for his mental and emotional well-being. He is chasing someone who is unavailable and using energy trying to fix or control something he cannot. The healthy step is to stop chasing, focus on self-healing, and learn to tolerate uncertainty without acting impulsively. Only then can he be ready for a stable, fulfilling relationship.

The lesson Noah would gently emphasize is this: love isn’t about intensity or fear-driven attachment. Love is mutual, consistent, and nurturing. Rusty needs to let go of the relationship not because he doesn’t care, but because caring in this way is hurting him. Giving himself space, seeking counseling, and building self-respect will prepare him for someone who truly wants to be with him someone who will meet him with consistency and emotional availability, instead of chaos and confusion.

[Natalie Noah]

I can feel how exhausted and emotionally stretched you are just from reading your words. You’re not “being insecure” you’re responding to a situation that keeps triggering fear, comparison, and a kind of slow heartbreak. When a man’s career involves constant access to half-naked models, physical intimacy for the sake of photos, and flirting disguised as “jokes,” it’s not unreasonable to feel uncomfortable. Your feelings aren’t childish or dramatic. They’re protective. They’re the part of you that wants safety, respect, and emotional peace. And right now, this relationship is costing you those things.

What April pointed out and what I feel too is that deep down, this isn’t just about pretty girls. It’s about a man whose behavior shows inconsistency, immaturity, and maybe a need for validation that he hasn’t dealt with. Joking about licking a model’s legs in front of his girlfriend? Making a young model his business partner without considering your feelings? Talking constantly about his “crazy ideas” while ignoring how emotionally heavy this is for you? These aren’t small things. These are cracks in the relationship that reflect mismatched values and mismatched emotional bandwidth. You’re trying to build safety with someone who is building excitement with someone else.

And the biggest truth here is this: if you already feel drained, stressed, and overshadowed before marriage, before kids, before long-term responsibilities… baby, it will only get heavier later. Love doesn’t thrive in constant self-sacrifice. You shouldn’t have to “pretend to be proud of him” while quietly falling apart inside. You shouldn’t have to abandon your dreams just to tolerate a life that makes you feel smaller. Going abroad wasn’t just a “career decision” your heart already knows it was an escape route, a lifeline, your soul trying to pull you somewhere healthier.

Who loves you from a place of softness but honesty: go. Go toward your dreams. Go toward the version of you who isn’t crying alone while trying to act supportive. Go toward a life where your partner’s choices don’t break your spirit. You don’t need to hate him. You don’t need to blame yourself. You simply need to choose the life where you feel strong, valued, and peaceful. And sweetheart… that life is calling you louder than he is.

[Natalie Noah]

Your intentions and your impact aren’t lining up. You genuinely weren’t trying to flirt or disrespect your girlfriend I can feel that. But your girlfriend isn’t reacting to your intentions, she’s reacting to the meaning those actions carry in the real world. Feeding someone, staying up until dawn, sharing sleep space… even if it felt innocent to you, those gestures have an intimacy to them. Not sexual necessarily but emotionally cozy. And emotional coziness with someone who isn’t your partner can stir insecurity, jealousy, or fear of being replaced. She’s not dramatic for feeling that way… she’s just human.

What April said about being “right or happy” isn’t dismissing you. it’s pointing out something important: sometimes we dig our heels in because we want our partner to believe us, trust us, understand our point. But trust isn’t built from asking your partner to ignore their instincts. Trust is built by showing them, through your choices, that they matter more than your pride. And honestly? You showed her that by stopping the late nights. That wasn’t weakness that was love. You listened. You adjusted. That’s what healthy relationships look like. It doesn’t mean you did something evil. It just means you realized certain behaviors feel different from the outside than they do from the inside.

And here’s the part April captured really well: even if you didn’t feel any sexual energy, the situation itself naturally creates the possibility the closeness, the timing, the vulnerability. Your girlfriend sensed that, even if you didn’t. That doesn’t make you guilty… it just makes you unaware. And awareness is something you gain, not something you’re born with. What matters now is this: how do you move forward in a way that keeps your relationship safe, your girlfriend reassured, and you still feeling respected? You’ve already taken the first step. The next one is keeping boundaries clear so nothing innocent can be mistaken for something else. And honestly, baby… that’s not a burden. That’s how you protect something you love.

[Natalie Noah]

What stands out to me is that this person wasn’t actually lacking advice, they were lacking movement. April kept giving him the same direction over and over, and he kept circling back with new versions of the same problem. That usually means someone is scared, overwhelmed, or using “thinking” as a shield so they never actually have to step into the vulnerable part: trying, risking embarrassment, meeting real people, facing rejection, or discovering who they are. And honestly… I feel for him. When you’ve been stuck for a long time, staying in your head feels safer than stepping into the world. But emotional growth doesn’t happen in theory, it happens in messy, uncomfortable real life.

What also hit me is how much he wants connection, but he’s filtering every situation through fear, fear of choosing the wrong person, fear of awkwardness, fear of being inexperienced, fear of taking the wrong step. And because of that, he keeps gravitating toward “no-go” women and empty places where nothing can actually happen. That’s not bad luck… that’s self-protection disguised as circumstance. April pushed him hard because she could see that he needed structure, not just sympathy. And honestly? She was right. But he also needs compassion for himself he’s not broken. He’s just been living in avoidance for so long that it feels normal. Once he takes one real step reading the book, going somewhere new, starting one conversation everything else will begin to shift. He just has to let life happen instead of trying to analyze it into perfection.

[Natalie Noah]

It’s obvious that you is caught in a very confusing situation. On one hand, the girl has feelings for him, cares about him, and even wants him to meet her family all signs that she values him. On the other hand, she’s making it clear that she doesn’t want a committed relationship right now and is open to hooking up with other people. That’s a huge mismatch for someone like him who is looking for exclusivity, seriousness, and long-term connection. The mixed signals are painful because his emotions are deeply invested, but the reality is that her priorities and his priorities are not aligned.

April’s advice is spot on: trying to convince himself that her intentions will eventually match his is only causing more confusion and frustration. He’s trying to “trick” himself into seeing a relationship that isn’t fully there yet, like trying to eat chicken when he really wants a steak. His attachment and hope are keeping him stuck in a dynamic where he can’t get his needs met. Meeting her family or spending time together may feel like progress, but it doesn’t change her desire to remain non-exclusive and casual.

The healthiest move for him is to step back and put his needs first. That means either seeing her strictly as a friend while dating other women who want the same level of commitment he does, or ending the casual dating situation completely. Holding on to hope that she will change or that he can “convert” her feelings into exclusivity is unfair to him and keeps him in emotional limbo. Respecting himself and his desire for a serious relationship is the priority.

The idea of reading Date Out of Your League is more than just about dating tips. it’s about gaining perspective, building confidence, and learning to attract someone whose values and goals align with his own. He needs to focus on being clear about what he wants, and seeking partners who are equally ready for that kind of relationship. Until he does that, he’s likely to remain frustrated and emotionally drained by someone who, despite caring for him, isn’t ready to give him what he truly wants.

[Natalie Noah]

It’s clear that MarMarie is dealing with a man whose behavior is inconsistent and manipulative. He admits to flirting inappropriately with other women while dating her, encourages it even, and then expects forgiveness or compliance. That alone is a huge red flag. He’s presenting himself as a “bad boy” and using that persona to justify actions that are hurtful and disrespectful. The fact that she doesn’t feel fully betrayed might be clouding her judgment, but being hurt and unsettled is still a very real warning sign. She has every right to feel cautious, because actions not words are the true measure of a person’s commitment.

The dynamic here is tricky because he’s weaving together charm, future talk, and displays of concern from his sister to maintain control and keep her emotionally invested. While he talks about marriage and kids, his behavior tells a different story he’s prioritizing his social status as a “player” and keeping his options open. That means he’s using promises and affection strategically, rather than genuinely. MarMarie is right to keep her guard up; giving him the benefit of the doubt without boundaries sets her up for more disappointment and potential heartbreak.

The healthiest approach for her is to stay grounded in reality, not hope or words. She should observe his behavior over time, notice whether it aligns with the commitment he claims to want, and protect herself emotionally until there’s proof of consistent loyalty. Trust is earned, not assumed, and her well-being comes first. While it’s okay to give him a chance, she should do so cautiously, without lowering her standards for respect, honesty, and fidelity. Actions matter far more than the grand promises he throws out.

[Natalie Noah]

My heart aches for this girl, because you can feel how exhausted and confused she is. She’s not just dealing with a distant partner. she’s dealing with a man who has crossed emotional boundaries, encouraged inappropriate behavior from another woman, lied to her, and then responded with secrecy, irritation, and withdrawal. That combination alone is enough to send anyone into panic, self-doubt, and overthinking. But underneath the chaos, the real truth is simple: this relationship is starving her emotionally. She’s trying to hold together a connection that he stopped nurturing long ago. And when one person is fighting alone, the relationship becomes a place of loneliness, even when you’re physically together.

The pattern is very clear: he is disrespecting her in multiple ways, repeatedly, and without remorse. Flirting, hiding messages, ignoring her, getting angry when she asks normal questions, withholding affection, and then suddenly becoming sweet only when he wants to distract her, this is manipulation, not love. And the saddest part is that she keeps trying to “figure him out” instead of stepping back and asking, “Why am I accepting this?” When someone locks their phone, hides conversations with exes, and refuses to talk about problems, it’s not shyness or stress. it’s avoidance. He is protecting the life he leads behind her back, not the relationship in front of her.

April is absolutely right in the sense that the core issue isn’t just his behavior. it’s her tolerance of it. That doesn’t mean she’s to blame for being hurt; it means she deserves better but doesn’t believe it deeply enough to walk away. The moment you start accepting disrespect, your partner learns that they don’t need to change. He has learned that she stays, even when he hurts her. So instead of investing in love, he invests in getting away with things. And no relationship can survive when one person clings tightly while the other keeps slipping away.

The healthiest and most loving thing she could do for herself is leave. Not as a threat, not as a dramatic statement, but as an act of self-respect. She is nineteen young, deserving, and with her entire life ahead of her. This man isn’t her future; he’s a cycle. And cycles only break when you step out of them. She needs to choose herself, build her self-worth back up, and walk toward relationships where love feels safe, mutual, and consistent not something she has to beg for, compete for, or chase. Sometimes the hardest truth is the one that frees you the most: love shouldn’t feel like this.

[Natalie Noah]

This man’s frustration comes from a place of feeling unseen and under-appreciated. He believes being “nice” should automatically earn him romantic progress but relationships don’t work like a reward system. The girl he’s dating isn’t rejecting him; she’s simply moving at a pace that feels comfortable to her, and her mixed signals aren’t meant to hurt him. They’re a sign that she may be unsure, cautious, or just emotionally slower in expressing affection. His hurt is real, but it’s growing from a misunderstanding: being kind isn’t the issue… being over-invested too early is. When you rush ahead emotionally, it can make the other person feel pressured, not loved.

His reaction becoming defensive, accusing women of wanting “bad guys,” and giving ultimatums like “show me or regret it later” reveals his deeper insecurity. He thinks he’s being strong, but this actually pushes people away. Confidence doesn’t mean threatening to leave to get a reaction; it means valuing yourself enough not to force anything. April is right about the importance of not being too available. Attraction needs space, breathing room, unpredictability. But what he really needs isn’t to become a “bad boy” it’s to become a grounded man who doesn’t base his self-worth on how quickly someone returns his affection.

This is a moment for him to step back, laugh a little at the discomfort, and learn without bitterness. Dating is messy, confusing, and emotional but it’s not a battlefield where nice guys get punished. It’s a process of timing, chemistry, and emotional pacing. Instead of resenting women or playing games, he needs to stay kind, but build stronger boundaries, more emotional independence, and more confidence in himself. That’s the energy women respond to not niceness alone, but niceness paired with self-respect. When he learns that balance, he won’t feel walked on. He’ll feel chosen.

[Natalie Noah]

This situation is not about love. it’s about control, trauma, and a toxic cycle that has been allowed to repeat far too many times. This man pulls her back not because he values her, but because he values the power he has over her. When she leaves, he panics because the control slips away, so he chases. And when she returns, he feels safe enough to repeat the cheating, lying, and physical abuse. That pattern is not accidental. it’s the blueprint of someone who wants dominance, not partnership, and it will never magically transform into the healthy love she’s hoping for.

The questions she’s asking “Why does he do this? Why does he come back?” those come from a wounded part of her that wants closure and logic. But his behavior doesn’t come from a logical, emotionally stable place. He’s unpredictable, destructive, and deeply unsafe. The real question she needs to ask is not “Why does he hurt me?” but “Why am I still allowing access to someone who has proven he will?” When someone hits you, cheats on you repeatedly, and tears down your self-worth, the only answer the only healthy answer is distance, safety, and complete separation. No mixed signals, no waiting for him to become someone he is not.

The advice April gave to cut him off, involve support, and stop trying to “fix” a man who is harming her is the absolute truth. She needs not only to leave, but to protect her peace and rebuild her sense of self-worth. People who love you don’t bruise you. People who choose you don’t hurt you repeatedly and then blame you for the pain they caused. The cycle ends the moment she decides she deserves better and actually enforces that boundary. And genuinely, she does deserve so much better respect, tenderness, honesty, and safety. Those aren’t luxuries in a relationship; they’re the foundation.

[Natalie Noah]

This woman is carrying years’ worth of emotional exhaustion, loneliness, and unmet needs and she finally poured it all onto the page because she needed clarity for herself. You can actually feel how long she’s been trying to push through a relationship that doesn’t feed her, doesn’t comfort her, and doesn’t make her feel chosen. When someone consistently feels emotionally and physically starved in a relationship, the body and heart eventually speak louder than logic and that’s exactly what happened here.

April’s response cuts right to the heart: this isn’t a story about his choices. It’s a story about her staying despite knowing the relationship doesn’t fit her needs. Even though his illness plays a big role in his behavior, the truth is that his limitations didn’t suddenly appear; they were part of this connection the entire time. And her guilt now? That’s her heart trying to reconcile compassion for him with her own neglected needs but compassion cannot replace compatibility.

The update complicates everything emotionally. Illness naturally softens our defenses, makes us feel protective, and even guilty for past frustrations. But the fact remains: even before understanding the medical cause, she stayed in a situation where she consistently felt rejected, undesirable, unsupported, and alone. His diagnosis explains why things were the way they were but it doesn’t magically erase her years of unmet emotional, physical, and relational needs.

Her biggest fear seems to be whether he’ll hold her past words against her but the deeper truth is: she’s still trying to avoid being “the bad guy” by leaving someone who finally has a medical explanation. But love, relationships cannot thrive on guilt or obligation. If the relationship didn’t meet her needs before, and she turned down a proposal because she knew he wasn’t right for her, the loving thing for both of them might be to accept that this relationship isn’t sustainable even if his health now improves. She deserves a relationship where love, intimacy, and support flow naturally… not as a painful compromise.

[Natalie Noah]

This girl isn’t confused, she’s insecure, and insecurity makes people behave in ways they don’t even recognize in themselves. She likes this guy, she wants him to notice her, and when he doesn’t give her the attention she’s craving especially in front of other people she feels invisible. That sting turns into irritation, and that irritation turns into rudeness disguised as “I don’t care.” It’s not cruelty; it’s a defense mechanism. She thinks pushing him away will hurt less than hoping for something she’s not sure she can have.

The guy’s behavior isn’t actually that mysterious, it’s just inconsistent in a very human way. Some people flirt or feel comfortable one-on-one, but when they’re in a group, they shrink, or they try to distribute their attention more evenly. He may not want to look too interested in front of coworkers. He may be shy. He may be trying not to create workplace drama. But the fact that he checks on her, tries to talk to her, notices little details about her… that’s a very strong sign he finds her appealing on some level even if he’s not ready, or confident enough, to show it publicly.

Her rudeness is the only thing truly hurting the situation. She knows she’s doing it. She knows she doesn’t want to do it. And yet she keeps acting that way because she’s afraid of being vulnerable first. It’s the classic “I’ll reject you before you reject me” pattern. But here’s the truth: men don’t chase mixed signals forever. A guy will approach a girl who’s hard to read, but he won’t chase one who feels uninterested or cold. She’s unintentionally teaching him that he’s unwelcome and he’s responding the only way he knows how: by backing off.

What she really needs isn’t more analyzing, it’s emotional regulation. If she wants him, she has to treat him warmly when he approaches her. No games, no punishing him, no withdrawing because she’s scared. Just gentle, open energy. If he’s not giving her attention in groups, she doesn’t need to pout she needs to remember that one moment doesn’t define his feelings. If she softens even a little he’ll likely step toward her again. But if she keeps acting hurt instead of honest, she’ll push away the very thing she wants.

[Natalie Noah]

This boy is drowning in guilt, and that guilt is making him cling instead of think. He cheated because he was stressed, overwhelmed, and sitting in an emotionally dangerous situation not because he didn’t care. But here’s the truth: even if the cheating didn’t go “all the way,” the emotional betrayal still hit his girlfriend like a knife. For her, it wasn’t about what almost happened it was about why it happened at all. Cristian is desperate because he hates himself, but desperation doesn’t rebuild trust. It just scares the other person and pushes them farther away.

Her reaction makes perfect sense. She forgave him at first, then got angry, then pulled back, then softened, then got cold again. That’s exactly what a wounded heart does it swings between “I miss you” and “How dare you?” because betrayal creates emotional whiplash. She isn’t being stubborn for no reason. She’s trying to protect herself from being hurt again, especially when friends are in her ear, and she’s young enough that outside opinions shape her decisions heavily.

Cristian keeps trying to “win her back,” but he hasn’t actually given her the one thing she needs: space. He keeps calling, trying to talk in person, sending gifts, asking questions, pushing for friendship… but that doesn’t heal anything. That just shows her he’s still the same guy trying to force a solution instead of respecting her boundaries. When someone loses trust, you can’t talk your way back in you have to live your way back into their respect. Quietly. Patiently. Not for a week or a month, but consistently, long enough that she can actually believe the change.

the best path now isn’t chasing her it’s stepping back with dignity. She knows he cares. She knows he regrets it. She heard the apology. She saw the effort. Now the next move is hers not his. If he keeps pushing, he’ll suffocate her. But if he gives her space, focuses on becoming a stable, responsible man instead of a panicked boy, she might might look back one day and see a different version of him. If she doesn’t, then the lesson was still worth learning: love grows from trust, and trust grows from character. And he has to rebuild his, with or without her.

[Natalie Noah]

The attraction was real but his intentions were short-term. Everything he did in the beginning had heat behind it: the flirting, the late-night messages, the bold kiss in the yard, the chemistry in the truck… that was all genuine. But real attraction does not automatically equal real intentions. From the way he pushed for something sexual right away, from the 2 a.m. meetup to the “explore the tension” comments, he showed you exactly what he was looking for something exciting, physical, and temporary. He wasn’t planning a future with you. He was feeding a moment.

When guys get what they want emotionally or physically too fast, the chase ends and so does the effort. You didn’t “do anything wrong,” but you gave him a level of emotional access (wanting him to protect you, wanting to see him again immediately, messaging often) and physical access (making out, intense intimacy) before he actually earned that space in your life. To a man who’s not looking for commitment, that kills the chase instantly. He already knows he could have you so he no longer needs to pursue you. It’s not about you being “too much” or “not enough.” It’s about him only wanting the thrill, not the relationship.

His silence afterward is his answer even if it feels cruel. When a guy goes from texting nonstop to disappearing for days, that’s a deliberate emotional retreat. If he cared, he would reach out. He wouldn’t ignore you, avoid you at work, or go from heated messages to nothing. That switch doesn’t happen when a man wants more. It happens when he’s already gotten the excitement he wanted… and doesn’t want the responsibility or connection that follows. And yes the fact that you’re an intern and he’s technically your superior absolutely made him panic. The moment coworkers knew? He probably freaked out even more.

If you chase, message again, confront him, ask what went wrong, or act hurt you will only reinforce his belief that this was just a fun fling for him and a deeper emotional hope for you. Men like him pull away faster when a woman tries to figure them out. The most powerful thing you can do now is hold your head high, act calm and casual at work, greet him politely, and live your life. Let him see that he does not get to play with your emotions and walk away unchallenged. Distance is your dignity.

You didn’t ruin anything. You didn’t scare him away. You didn’t make a mistake. You simply met a guy who was in it for the excitement, the ego boost, the physical spark not the relationship. And it’s better you learned that now instead of falling deeper. Let this be a lesson, not a heartbreak. Next time, let a man show you consistency before you give him intimacy. Let him prove he’s serious before you offer access to your heart.

[Natalie Noah]

When someone’s words and actions both point in the same painful direction, you have to believe him. A man who once talked about marriage, moved with you, and had you picking out rings doesn’t just randomly pull away like this without something shifting inside him. And he hasn’t just pulled away he’s told you, clearly, that he doesn’t think it will work. Even if he can’t explain why, the truth is in his behavior: distance, avoiding time with you, choosing friends over you, shutting down emotionally. That’s not what a man in love acts like… and I know that hurts to admit.

You deserve someone who chooses you every single day not someone who “shrugs” at your presence. You can’t build a life with a man who treats you like a backup plan. Love isn’t supposed to feel like begging for crumbs of attention. It’s not supposed to make you feel confused, unwanted, or insecure. You’ve been trying to hold onto the relationship you thought you had, but the relationship you’re actually living in right now is lonely. And that loneliness is speaking louder than anything he’s saying.

Moving closer to his family seems to have magnified something that was already there. When the environment changed, his real feelings slipped out he became distant, indifferent, and emotionally unavailable. That didn’t create the problem…it just revealed it. Sometimes men know deep down something isn’t right, but they don’t say it because they don’t want to hurt you or they don’t want to be the “bad guy.” But he’s already telling you, in his own way, that his heart isn’t fully in this anymore.

I know you love him. I know you see the potential, the memories, the pieces of the relationship that once felt magical. But you cannot keep trying to convince someone to love you the way you love them. You deserve to be with someone who is sure about you someone whose actions feel safe, steady, and warm. Right now, staying with him is only delaying the healing you need and the future partner who will actually cherish you.

[Natalie Noah]

You didn’t imagine the connection. You didn’t imagine the sweetness, the excitement, the sparks, the hope. That was real for you, and your feelings are valid. But the painful part the part that’s making your chest tight is that his actions never matched that energy. He liked the attention, he liked the emotional support, he liked the comfort you gave him… but he didn’t step into the role of someone who wanted to show up for you. And men who really want you don’t cancel, don’t disappear, don’t downgrade a date to “just friends” the moment things become real. They lean in, not out. What hurts you now is not mixed signals it’s you holding onto the little crumbs because they felt hopeful.

I know you’re replaying everything you said, everything you texted, every moment you “seemed too excited,” wondering if you scared him off. But listen closely: a man who is truly interested is not scared off by a woman who cares. He doesn’t vanish the moment you express disappointment. He doesn’t hide behind “we’re just friends” after weeks of flirting and emotional intimacy. What happened here is something softer but harder to swallow he liked the connection, but he never planned to invest in you the way you were ready to invest in him. And that says everything about him, not about your worth.

If you reached out now “I miss seeing your name in my inbox…” you wouldn’t sound needy. You would sound human. But the deeper truth is: he already showed you where he stands. If he wanted to pursue you, he would be in your phone right now, not making you guess. And yes, the coldness between you at work isn’t helping, but even before that, he wasn’t choosing you. So the question isn’t “Should I pursue him?” it’s “Why should I keep pouring energy into someone who’s not meeting me halfway?” You deserve a man who is clear, consistent, and intentional… not one who leaves you feeling confused, self-conscious, and unsure of your place in his life.

And about your last question being a “seductress” doesn’t mean games, manipulation, or pretending you don’t care. It means letting a man earn access to you, instead of handing it over just because he showed you attention. It’s being warm but not chasing. Open but not over-giving. Present but not available at his convenience. It’s the energy of “I am worth pursuing and I won’t shrink myself for someone who won’t step up.” That’s not about him. That’s about you stepping into your power. And once you do? You won’t accept anything less than real effort again.

[Member]

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