[Saif]

This is the “Gatekeeping” problem of the boyfriend’s family. Whenever someone from outside comes into the, circle of the family, the older members (brothers/cousins) feel that their control is being lost.
It is not your job to fix the family. You just behave like the girl who doesn’t fall into their “drama category”. She lights the fire, you stay cool. When the fire doesn’t get oxygen (reaction), it will cool down on its own.
And anyway, the real test is not the girl, but the boyfriend. If he keeps being a “mummy’s boy” or a “cousin’s puppet”, then you can show as much “kindness” as you want, but the relationship will sink

[Saif]

Are you still meeting ? This is the biggest stupidity. She is using you as a “friend” so that she doesn’t have to feel the pain of the breakup and also to avoid the “guilt”. Every time she sees you, she thinks, “I lost control in front of him,” and this is what is driving her away from you.
The truth is that the girl is fighting with herself, and you are struggling for nothing in the middle. She is breaking your heart to get her “moral high ground” back so that she can say to herself, “Look, I made up for that mistake.”
It is better to get out of such a complicated situation; you will remain in hope for the rest of your life, and she will continue to ignore you in the name of being “strong”.
AskApril was right that, thank goodness the truth came out in three months. It’s hard to live with someone who blames others instead of taking responsibility for their own decisions. Invest your time and emotions in someone who is clear about their life and decisions.

[Saif]

The girl feels like this is her chance to make up for her past mistake (breaking his heart). But a relationship is not a “punishment or reward.” If she’s just trying to get back together out of guilt, then it’s a bad idea.
Anyway, no matter how busy a guy is, if he’s interested in someone, he’ll make time to text or call. If he’s losing interest, it means the hours they spent together were just a nice meeting for him, not a life-changing moment.
Ask April was absolutely right that the reason for the breakup was valid at the time, so there’s no need to carry the burden of it anymore.
Be a little flirty, but don’t be the “aggressor.” Let him make the move if he wants to.

[Saif]

A grown man is not a magician who can read minds. We men, are really a bit “slow” unless we speak openly. i think you, tell him “Dear, upgrade your performance a bit!” Alisha, if you want to see “knees shake,” then go to the gym or change men, but sneaking out and talking is only the path to disaster. Pick up a shovel and work on your man’s mind a bit, maybe the engine will start!

[Saif]

AskApril’s advice might be a bit harsh, but it is very solid and professional. She doesn’t believe in sugar-coating things. Her focus isn’t on making the guy out to be a “victim,” but rather on turning him into a responsible individual. Like an excellent mentor, she shows him the reality of the situation so that he doesn’t cause any further damage.
what you did was definitely cringe, but it wasn’t “criminal.” You aren’t a bad person; your system just “overheated.”

The more explanations you try to give right now, the more “creepy” and unstable you’ll seem. The coolest move you can make is to stay quiet. That girl is already dealing with a mountain of grief; she doesn’t have the energy to manage your guilt, too. Maybe she won’t come back, and that’s okay. Sometimes we have to fall to learn how to walk. Your priority now shouldn’t be that girl; it should be your own mind. Once you get a handle on yourself, that “psychotic panic” will fade, and you won’t find yourself calling anyone’s mother next time.

[Saif]

You’ve been having sex in a car for a year, and the girl is complaining that the frequency is low? He’s a 25-year-old guy; the poor guy must have broken his back adjusting the seat! AskApril was right, managing car sex for so long is an “achievement” in itself.
The guy has become “lazy” because he’s not used to working hard, and you are frustrated because you feel like everything should be under your control. The best part of AskApril’s advice was that she didn’t sugarcoat it. She told the girl to stop whining about derivative problems (i.e., lack of sex) and focus on the real problems (financial independence and privacy). She was absolutely right that until you both become independent, you’ll have to live on “car seats” like this.

[Saif]

A relationship isn’t a “part-time job” where you can just hand in your resignation whenever you feel like it and rejoin whenever the mood strikes. Even after 7 years, if he is “wishy-washy”, he does not love you; he is using your “emotional anchor” to hide his failure.

Tell him, Baby, the new job and roommates are your problem, not mine. I am your girlfriend, not your therapist or personal assistant.The point is, don’t wait for Joe in this week of space that you have given him. Go out, look attractive, enjoy your life. When he comes back in a week, he should not find a poor girl, but a high-value woman that he is afraid of losing. If he still cries from stress, tell him: “Take stress management classes, I will go my own way. 7 years doesn’t mean you’re serving a life sentence. Show him that your “sexiness” and “spark” don’t depend on Joe’s mood. When you change, Joe will straighten himself out
or else the path will be clear!

[Member]

Posts