[Alysa]

Not going to someone’s house for a whole year, not meting their friends, and only meeting during work hours… these weren’t just “signs,” this was an entire Red Flag The girl deliberately kept her eyes closed because she was hoping the guy would change.
I believe a confrontation is necessary, but not for revenge, rather for “closure.” However, telling the other woman often backfires; she might just think she is a “crazy ex” and block her.
AskApril was absolutely right that when the guy said on the very first day that he couldn’t give a commitment, the girl should believe him. The guy stayed true to his word; he never committed.
I liked AskApril’s expert advice to move on, starting today, and begin meeting new people instead of wasting more time on further questions and answers.

[Alysa]

The guy was originally all stressed out over the “girl from Australia,” but then he suddenly shows up with a list of four different women, like he’s running some kind of audition. He rejected Sophia just because she has “acne” and picked Alice, the gym teacher, because she’s “pretty.” This guy seems a bit superficial; he’s not looking for a partner; he’s looking for a perfect profile.
In a long-distance situation, saying “I love you” or claiming Boyfriend/Girlfriend status before meeting is just a pipe dream. Until you’ve actually dealt with each other’s physical presence and real-life moods, everything is just a script.

[Alysa]

It is truly disheartening to hear that after two years of marriage, the husband remains “cold” and claims to watch gay porn out of mere “curiosity.” This isn’t curiosity; it’s a preference. Watching gay porn and then engaging in intimate conversations with a man abroad isn’t the sign of a “confused” man; it’s the sign of a man suppressing his true identity out of fear of Dubai’s societal reputation and intense family pressure.
This poor girl is caught between feeling disgusted and still being in love.
But the hard truth is that you cannot “fix” someone’s sexual orientation. If he is gay, he is gay. No matter how “kind” he is to her, he will never be able to give her the masculine attention and the authentic honesty she deserves.

Spending an entire lifetime living a lie just for the sake of status and reputation, where your husband is physically and emotionally elsewhere, is a massive psychological sentence.
This girl needs to stop worrying about “what people will say” and prioritize her own mental health and peace of mind

[Alysa]

When an ex pops up after 7 years, saying I want to be friends,’ 99% of girls know it’s a lie. By rejecting the Facebook request, she sent a Big Red Signal, but our guy here just didn’t get the hint.
As for AskApril’s advice to find her number and call —bro, in 2026, we call that stalking! If she’s already ignoring your emails and Facebook, then calling her is like throwing fuel on the fire.
You need to close your laptop, hit the gym, or focus on a new band. That girl has moved on, while you are still stuck in an emotional swamp. Silence is a message in itself, and her message is loud and clear: Leave me alone!

[Alysa]

That girl was literally in the hotel right across the street! She traveled such a long distance just for you. If you were actually interested, you would have left your friends for just one hour to meet her.
Gambling and drinking with your buddies is an everyday thing, but the person you’d been talking to for a whole year was standing right there in front of you.
This isn’t a misunderstanding, it’s disinterest. The guy wounded her self-respect. He isn’t actually ‘missing’ her now; his ego is just bruised because she left him on ‘read’ so easily.
“April hit the nail on the head, wow, April, this is exactly where your expertise shines! You caught the massive gap between the guy’s words and his actions. He claims he ‘misses her terribly,’ yet he rejects the idea of flying to Toronto to apologize by dismissing it as movie stuff.

[Alysa]

This is the most dangerous combo. On one hand, he is showing Anka dreams of marriage and children to make her feel secure, while on the other, he is telling his ex, “I miss you.”
Poor Anka considers herself “damaged” because of her past, and this guy is taking full advantage of that. Every time, he says, “You’re crazy, I was just drunk,” or “You’re only doubting me because of your past issues.”

In reality, the guy is playing a “Double Game.” He wants a “domestic” girl to take care of the home, while he continues to have fun on the side. AskApril was absolutely right that so much drama in just 8 months? It’s not worth it. You should pack up this “Europe-return” Romeo along with his chocolates and send him straight back to his ex!

[Alysa]

Ask April’s style is on another level. She doesn’t sugarcoat anything. Instead, she puts the bitter truth right in front of you so you can clearly see that the problem isn’t who you are, but the choices you make.
Look, if you just go with the flow at parties and lose control, it becomes difficult to expect “respect” later on. In college, people are very quick to label you.
You should stop worrying about your “reputation” for a moment and do some self-reflection. If you enjoy sex, go for it, but then don’t look for validation from guys like Al. And if it’s respect you want, you’re going to have to set some boundaries.
AskApril is absolutely right, the world only sees what you show them. If you carry yourself like an “open buffet,” people aren’t going to give you “fine dining” respect. It’s as simple as that!

[Member]

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