[Danna Clarisse]

His behavior changed right after you had sex. For me, that’s a red flag. Ideally, that moment should have motivated him to continue pursuing you even more, not suddenly become distant.

Most men I know are like that, although not all. It could also be a sign that that was really all he wanted from you. “Being busy” isn’t a good excuse, if you truly like someone, you will find a way to make time for them.

Also, with his job as a bartender, he definitely meets a lot of different people. I’m not saying I’m certain that’s what’s happening in your situation, but it’s not impossible either.

[Danna Clarisse]

What you did was right, being open with her. For me, one of the foundations of a relationship is being open with each other.

What you’re experiencing is normal. As long as the woman accepts you, then that’s already fine. Don’t overthink it too much.

Maybe just focus on improving yourself, not for her, but for you, so there’s no pressure.

[Danna Clarisse]

I think she only sees you as a friend, while you are turning the friendship into something romantic.

My advice is for you to become “boyfriend material” and move beyond just being friends. You also need to make your intentions clearer to her about what you really want.

[Danna Clarisse]

I think he suddenly lost interest. If you’ve already been dating for five months, that should be enough time to make a decision, but it seems like he’s still not sure.

You’ve already introduced him to your friends and family, but he hasn’t done the same for you. It’s better to make things clear now and not drag it out anymore, because you might just be wasting each other’s time.

It would be good to talk about it properly, or you can also step back a bit if your gut feeling is telling you something is off.

[Danna Clarisse]

The problem is that you’re not asking her out on a proper date. If you always just meet at a bar with your friends, your intentions aren’t clear to her, so you’re only spending time together there as friends.

It’s better if things are clear for both of you about what you really are to each other. Whether she agrees to go on a date with you or not, at least you’ll both know where you stand and where things are heading between you.

[Danna Clarisse]

If you can’t afford it, don’t force it. Like you said, his current electric guitar is still fine, so it’s more important to prioritize your bills and responsibilities first.

Just explain your situation to him honestly. That’s not being selfish at all.

[Danna Clarisse]

You are 100% right 🙂

[Danna Clarisse]

You shouldn’t be the one chasing him like that. That way, you’ll also find out if he truly likes you or not. For me, it’s a red flag when the woman is the one chasing the man.

You can give small signs that he has a chance with you, just to help build his confidence in case he is really just shy. But you should never be the one to chase or initiate first.

[Danna Clarisse]

It’s actually right that you didn’t send another email. What you did, thanking him in person while you were together, is already enough.

It can feel a bit overwhelming if it’s only your first date, especially with such a big gesture. There will still be plenty of time to show your appreciation later if things continue.

If he insists on seeing you again, just let him be the one to initiate. Don’t be the one to chase, allow him to make the effort.

[Danna Clarisse]

It’s normal to feel that way at the beginning. But you don’t really have a choice except to move on.

Try to distract yourself and keep yourself busy. Sometimes it takes a long time to fully move on, but that’s just how life is, you need to keep going for yourself.

You will still meet many other people along the way. While you’re in the process of letting go, just focus on healing yourself for now.

[Member]

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