[Irish]

Take the risk. You just need to show and make him understand that you’re different from his past relationship—that just because he got hurt before doesn’t mean he will get hurt again now.
But nothing is ever guaranteed; you both should understand that. However, if his fear is still stronger than his willingness to try, then just let him go or distance yourself from him.
If he can’t take a risk in your relationship and will just keep being afraid, then there’s no point in fighting for the relationship anymore.

[Irish]

That’s a really difficult situation, but at the end of the day, you were part of creating it, so it’s important to take responsibility. If those are truly the only two options, I think Option 1 is the better choice.
For me, you need to be accountable for what happened with the woman. And more importantly, it’s for the child—because that baby is your own flesh and blood. It’s not the child’s fault that the parents acted impulsively, which led to this situation.
So for me, it’s better that you step up and take responsibility for the child. And if Option 1 is the only way for you not to be separated from your child, then choose it. Do it for the child.

[Irish]

It’s clear that he likes you—that’s why he did that. And congratulations that you became official after just a month. 😉

[Irish]

If you’re starting to like him, then show him that you like him as a man and not just as a friend whenever you get another chance. That way, you’ll find out if there’s a chance that he likes you too. Maybe he also likes you, but he’s afraid that you only see him as a friend—because that’s what you’re both showing each other.
But for now, it might be better to move on first, because it’s not a good idea if you’re the one actively trying to make him like you. You’ll know a man likes you more when he’s the one making the effort.

[Irish]

If you want your relationship to become more serious and not just about hookups and sex, start by refusing when he only wants hookups or sex. When he notices your change and asks about it, tell him that you’re not satisfied with that kind of setup anymore, and that you’d only go out with him if he asks you on a proper date.

If he changes and stops asking you out on dates, it likely means he doesn’t really have plans for a more romantic relationship between the two of you, and he’s just using you to satisfy his physical needs.

[Irish]

I don’t know why you broke up, but there’s a possibility that he wants you back because of the effort he’s making to spend time with you. However, if that’s really the case, don’t be the one to initiate getting back together—let him do it. That way, you’ll know if he truly wants you or not.
If you ever do get back together, my advice is that both of you should have learned from your past mistakes—the reasons why you broke up—so that the same issues won’t happen again.
As for your question about why he wants you back, he’s the only one who can really answer that.

[Irish]

Long-distance relationships are really hard because you look for your partner’s presence both physically and emotionally. Then when things like that happen, it can make you paranoid—especially when something doesn’t seem to add up. You start feeling like an investigator, noticing more and more things that seem wrong and trying to connect everything.

You might even start judging her friends because they’ve cheated before, and think she might end up the same way.

So my advice in that situation is, if you can’t handle a long-distance relationship mentally and physically, it’s better to just break up so you can have peace of mind.

[Irish]

There’s nothing wrong with you or what you did. It’s clear that he lost interest in you. He’s on dating apps, which means he’s really looking for other women, and it’s possible he found someone he liked more than you.
You should move on from him—you don’t even know him that well yet anyway.

[Irish]

There’s a saying that goes, “once a cheater, always a cheater.” For me, every action you take is a choice—no one is forcing you. So it was his choice to have sex with different women, and it was his choice not to choose you.

That’s why it was also right that you didn’t have an official label, because maybe he didn’t want to feel guilty about it. But somehow, for me, he still betrayed you. Because he kept giving you hope that you two were okay, that he loved you, and so on.

My advice is for you to move on from him and find someone who is more right for you. But again, it’s still your decision—because it’s your choice whether you’ll listen to this advice or not.

[Irish]

Based on your story, if I were to judge it, I think she likes you. Because she wouldn’t be spending that much time with you to the point that you’re always together. What I mean is, doesn’t she have other friends? Why is it you, among all her friends, who she always wants to be with? So I really think she likes you.
The question now is whether you are interested in her. Because if you are, you should ask her out on a date while she’s still attached to you. Because if she feels like you’re not interested anymore, she might look for someone else.
You’re the man here—she’s not the one who should be chasing you. Of course, she’s just waiting for you. She’s already given you a lot of signals.
And also, you have to take a chance if you want an answer.

[Member]

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