[Clara]

What you should do is stop contacting her and move on. Regardless of how she broke up with you, it still means the same thing—she doesn’t want the relationship anymore.

So what you need to do now is accept it, move on, and stop wasting your time on her. There are still many other people out there for you. You’ll become stronger and more mature when you learn from your life experiences.

[Clara]

Yes, you’re overthinking a bit. Think about it—those are his children, and this is a huge life change for him. If you truly understand him and what he’s going through, you wouldn’t keep assuming things that don’t really help your relationship.

Instead of thinking negatively about his actions, it would be better to just support him. That would be the most appropriate thing to do right now.

[Clara]

It was right that you chose to distance yourself. Maybe he’s just using you, because if he truly wanted you, he would choose you—especially since you’re already willing to choose him.

Also, he doesn’t seem to want commitment. That’s why it’s better not to even stay friends with him. Look at what happened to your relationship with your boyfriend—it fell apart because you were still hoping you might get back together with him, but he wasn’t able to stand by that.

It’s better now to protect yourself and choose stability over uncertainty.

[Clara]

Sometimes when a person is drunk, the truth really comes out. I think she likes you—she wouldn’t act that way if she didn’t or if she didn’t care about you.

Since you’ve already been flirting with her through text anyway, why didn’t you take it further in person? That could have been your chance.

[Clara]

If you think you both feel the same way, then why not ask her out on a proper, formal date?

Regardless of what she may be going through with her ex, I think this is actually the right time for you to show her that you are the one who is more deserving of her.

[Clara]

Right now you’re happy, yes—but it’s almost like you’re already answering your own question.

In the long run, are you able to be the provider for both of you and take care of him? In other words, you’re torn between being practical and following love—what matters more to you?

To be honest, there is no right answer here, and there is no wrong answer either. No one can really predict the future. It really depends on you—whether you choose to face the problem and look for a solution, or walk away from it and choose the more practical path.

[Clara]

If you really like him to the point where you’re willing to compete with his girlfriend, then you would need to flirt with him. But the question is, can you do that? Especially since you’re shy and an introvert.

For me, it’s also not a good idea to do that because he already has a girlfriend. It wouldn’t be right to try to interfere or ruin their relationship. That wouldn’t be fair to the girl.

It might be better if you just try to move on instead. The right person will come at the right time in your life.

[Clara]

First of all, if you are having problems as a married couple, no matter how heavy they are, you should not involve the child you are carrying in your womb. That is your own flesh and blood, so if you are thinking of doing anything harmful toward the baby, please don’t push through with it — that child is a blessing from God.

To answer your question, yes, you need to confront him so you can get answers and understand why he did what he did. But before you do that, you need to calm yourself down for the sake of the baby you are carrying. Talk to him in a proper and calm way. Always remind yourself that you are pregnant and extreme stress can affect the baby.

If you need to separate for a while in order to protect your emotional well-being, then do it for the sake of the child. Always consider the baby you are carrying in whatever decision you make. You need to be strong for your child.

[Clara]

If what you want is his honest insight about this issue, then you should confront him, but make sure to stay calm and talk about it properly. Tell him everything you want to say and ask all the questions on your mind so you can understand the situation better and get the answers you need. Most problems can be handled through a calm and respectful conversation.

It can also help protect your emotions because you won’t be left overthinking or keeping everything bottled up inside. How you start the conversation isn’t the most important thing. What matters is that you approach him calmly and peacefully, because that will help you handle the situation the right way.

[Clara]

For me, what you’re feeling is completely normal. Of course you’d worry — what usually happens in clubs and bars? There’s alcohol, men, women, and sometimes even drugs. For someone who says they want to build a family, that kind of lifestyle really shouldn’t be a priority.

It honestly seems like she’s only thinking about herself. She even told you directly that she’s not willing to change for you. She doesn’t even seem embarrassed that you’re far away working hard while she’s out almost every night just enjoying herself.

You should seriously think about whether you still want to spend your life with this person, because from what I can see, she’s becoming a source of stress and headaches for you. Her behavior is already showing signs of irresponsibility and a lack of respect toward you.

[Member]

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