[Rome021]

Set boundaries. It’s not right that his friends seem to have more influence over him than you do, regardless of how long they’ve known each other. If that’s really how he treats you, then maybe you should leave the relationship. Why keep suffering when you’re already being treated this way?

Imagine being his girlfriend, yet you’re the one who’s not allowed to text or call when he’s with his friends, but when he’s with you, they can interrupt anytime they want. If I were in your position, I would leave him immediately so he learns a lesson. And if he still doesn’t change, then honestly no woman will stay with him long-term in the future if he keeps acting like that.

At this point, he might as well just stay with his mother since that’s who he really listens to anyway.

[Rome021]

My advice is to become more independent so you can be the one in control of your own home and life. Maybe this situation would not have happened if there had been better boundaries from the start.

What your uncle did was really wrong and disrespectful. Even while you and your girlfriend were still together, you already noticed that he was developing feelings for her. That was very immoral.

And your ex-girlfriend acting like she would never be interested in him because of the age gap, only to end up with him anyway, makes it hurt even more.

What makes this especially painful is that it came from your own family. So if you’re able to live independently and not rely too much on your family, I think that would be healthier for you moving forward.

[Rome021]

I don’t think he’s sincere. I think he just needs you right now, which is why he’s acting that way toward you. But the real question here is—why are you still thinking like that when your experience with him has been so bad? Do you still have plans of getting back together with him?

[Rome021]

Instead of just settling for being her friend, you might as well try to pursue her. You don’t really have anything to lose—you’re a guy, so just put in the effort and do the usual things someone courting would do.

Then if nothing really happens, at least you can move on knowing you tried. At least you won’t be left wondering, “What if I had tried harder?

[Rome021]

Only time will tell that, but you need to move on right away. What he said is already clear, and you also said that you weren’t looking for a relationship anyway. Besides, you’re a woman, so you shouldn’t be the one chasing.

[Rome021]

Try what your sister suggested—buy her an engagement ring and propose. Maybe it could change her mind and help her see that you’re now more serious and have a clearer plan for the future. It might also help her realize how much you truly love her.

And hopefully, this becomes a lesson for you—to not rely on assumptions. You should really know what she wants, especially since she is your partner.

[Rome021]

But she is right—if you truly love her, you will wait until you are married, unless sex is that important to you that it becomes more important than her.

If you can no longer control your sexual urges, then maybe you should find someone else. My advice is to respect her principles and what she believes in.

[Rome021]

Don’t let him be the first one to contact you so you can see if he’s really interested in you. Don’t ever be the one to initiate, especially since you’re a girl. If he doesn’t message you, it means he’s not interested—then just move on and find someone else. That should be your mindset.

[Rome021]

When she comes back next week, ask her out on a dinner date right away—no beating around the bush. Show her clearly that you’re interested in her, because right now she might still just see you as a friend. You need to make your intentions clear so you don’t end up in the friend zone.

If she tells you to stop or not to continue, then that means she’s not interested. But as long as she doesn’t say that, keep going.

She only said she’s not ready yet—she never said she’s not interested in you.

[Rome021]

If he doesn’t invite you on a proper, formal date and there’s nothing clear about what you two are, then the next time he asks you out, you should ask him first what kind of invitation it is—whether it’s a date or something casual.

If he says it’s a date, then you can agree to go, but if it’s just something casual, then you can choose not to go, especially since you’re already investing more time and starting to develop feelings.

That way, you can figure out what’s really going on between you two without directly confronting him in a heavy way.

[Member]

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