I have been in a non-relationship with my daughter’s father for 14 years. He claims he doesn’t want to be with me and only wants to be her father. I try not to initiate communication with him, (he lives in Key West, we are in Buffalo), but he calls, texts or messages usually several times daily. I have been getting mixed messages for so long and he is mean to me at times, stating he is not attracted to me (because of all the fighting over the years) . We have had a turbulent relationship due mainly to my insecurity of what exactly the nature or our relationship is. I feel like he is keeping me on a string. Don’t get me wrong. I want nothing more than for us to be a family. He finally started in AA and has been sober for 6 months. My daughter is indifferent to the whole idea as she barely knows him since he only visits for a week every 3-4 years, which i usually pay for and arrange. I am a successful, educated and nice looking woman who has been waiting for a bartender/waiter for all this time. My head knows I should move on and find someone more my equal, but my heart believes that he is close to realizing what he has in me. Close friends notice how well we play off each other, finishing each others’ thoughts, etc. He is talking about moving to be near us, and occasionally drops hints that he is considering living with us. eg: me “will you come help out when I have my surgery next month?” him “dont you want me to just move in?” I am 100x’s more attractive than the woman he was seeing for 3 years in the keys and she is a bartender. How can I get him to realize what a catch I am? I included him in our summer vacation in July, and he was here late August. We will go there in Nov…so things are progressing. What can I do?