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AskApril Masini.
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April 13, 2014 at 4:02 am #6264
Oggie
Member #278,513Would I be wasting my time?
A guy initially showed some interest in me, lets call him Kai. Kai stared at me all the time, asked me out a few times and complemented me… However I have no idea how to respond to this. I am 22 and have no experience with men besides having a bunch of male friends.
I never agreed to a date because I freaked out at the thought of being alone with Kai and I turn into a stunned mullet every time he attempts to flirt. 😳
Now due to other circumstances, we are on the same soccer team (NOTE:I am the only girl on the team) I thought Kai had lost interest, as he has never attempted a real conversation with me. However I noticed he would make excuses to touch me or he would stand really really close to me, like he was marking his territory or something. Soon Kai asked me to train a few nights with him one on one so he could help me with my soccer. I agreed. After the training sessions he became more flirtatious and even gave my other team members a glare when they spoke to me. This caused my male teammates to ostracize me in a way. This frustrated me as it was ruining the game. So, I made an effort to avoid this Kai completely for a few training sessions. Then, he brings a new girl to join the team (She is lovely by the way I really hit it off with her) he was very ‘playful’ with her.I am thinking he may have a few romantic interests or might he have been trying to get my attention? Both he and she made a point of being work friends and she said she has heard about me.
By this time my other teammates had lessened up around me and we began our usual banter. One teammate was in the middle of trying to tackle me to the ground as a joke. Then Kai appears out of nowhere to finish the job. (He tends to try take over when the boys are playful with me like that) But again he never embarks for a real conversation with me. I might be interested in him if I got to know him but maybe he is bipolar? He will give extreme attention to me one day and 0 the next. Is he a flirt, just my friend or what? Or am I the dysfunctional one?
April 13, 2014 at 5:10 pm #28371AskApril MasiniKeymasterIt sounds like the problem is that you have no experience with men, and at 22 years old, you’ve joined an adult men’s soccer team, putting you smack in the middle of them! The bottom line is that it’s a good idea to be clear about what YOU want. 😉 If you’d like to date men, then you should be able to acknowledge that, and start working on that!😀 If you don’t want to date men, then you should acknowledge that, too, and make that clear, so you don’t confuse yourself or waste time.😉 I’ll try to answer your individual questions — maybe that will help you, more.
[quote]Would I be wasting my time?[/quote] I’m not sure what this question refers to. Fill me in!
😀 [quote]I am thinking he may have a few romantic interests or might he have been trying to get my attention?[/quote] I agree with you.
[quote]I might be interested in him if I got to know him but maybe he is bipolar?[/quote] Gosh — you haven’t mentioned anything he’s done that would indicate mental illness. Besides, I’m a relationship expert, not a physician, so I don’t diagnose people or even venture to guess about diagnoses.
😉 [quote]He will give extreme attention to me one day and 0 the next. Is he a flirt, just my friend or what?[/quote] Men and women can’t be friends because things get too confusing when they try. I think he’s flirting with you. But if he’s not getting a positive reaction, he probably gets discouraged and begs off.
[quote]Or am I the dysfunctional one?[/quote] I wouldn’t say you’re dysfunctional, but it is very unusual for 22 year old women to join as the only woman on an adult men’s soccer team. In addition to which, you admit you have no experience with men — you might want to decide to learn a little more about them to help yourself.
😉 Figure out what YOU want in life, and then go for it. But until you do, you’ll find yourself flirting with confusion.🙁 I hope that helps.
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