[oodlesofpoodles]

My ex and I broke up 3 months ago. All his choice. He initiated NC 2 months ago and has me blocked on everything.
He got me a Tiffany heart necklace last Christmas. It meant so much to me. He cried when he gave me it to me. I wore it every day.
The relationship did not end well at all. Our last conversation was a huge fight, & the day after he dumped me, I was angry/upset. I told him I sold the necklace so that I had nothing left of him. Immature, I know. I never did. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
At this point, I can’t keep it. Too painful. I know there are no chances of us ever getting back together, even though he said after we broke up that he wants to try again in the future & he wants to still remain friends. He told me he still had feelings for me. He went from that to never wanting to speak again within a week.
He abandoned me when he broke up w/ me. Over the phone, out of the blue, gave me no reason, & refused to meet me to say goodbye.
Should I sell it and get some money out of it or send it back to him?
I know he can’t really do much with it, but I’m wondering if it will make a statement or an impact.
He’s going through a hard time right now — failing out of school. He has hardly any money. Living with his parents (who were not fond of me. They didn’t like any of his past girlfriends. They were the main reason we broke up.) He could probably use it more than me $ wise.
Could me mailing it back be seen as harassment?
I think me selling it would be more painful than me sending it back, but I’m not sure what the right thing to do is.

[AskApril Masini]

The way you end a relationship is important. If you send the necklace back to him, it’s a way of saying you’re done and you don’t want any remnant of him in your life. And if you sell the necklace, it’s a way of defaming his having given you that gift. My advice is that you send him a letter apologizing for acting rashly and explaining that you did not sell the necklace — you said you did because you were so hurt and angry — and that although the relationship is over, you’ll always treasure the beautiful gift and the time in which he gave it to you and in which you were so happy to accept it. This gives you another chance to end the relationship on a kind and generous note by apologizing, showing that you valued the gift and the gesture, and that you’ll keep it as a memento of what was good when it was good.

I hope that helps.

[Member]

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