Insane love story, mixed signals, HELP ME
URGENT! I’m going to try to include as many details as I can. We dated for nearly 3 years. We had a connection that I had no idea was possible. Our love was burning. Around four months ago he cheated on me. I was heartbroken of course, but I stayed with him for several weeks because I loved him and we were getting married in two years. As these weeks passed my feelings for him faded and the hurt took over.
I left him, but told him I just needed time to sort things out for myself. He agreed and said he would wait as long as it took. Instead of giving me space he constantly bombarded me with paragraphs begging for me back. I always replied, never ignored him but I told him always that I just needed to get over it and he needed to accept that.
Me being single I fooled around with another guy (nothing serious, just sex). He found out, freaked out on me, and stopped trying. We didn’t talk for about two weeks after that.
Then he randomly showed up to my parents house to pay them back money he owed them. I tried talking to see how he was doing and he rejected me. This made me miss him. I told him I was sorry, and wanted to try to work things out again he declined. Of course I went into begging mode and acted all primitive. For the last two months he’s consistently said he doesn’t want me.
One night I was really drunk, called him for sex and he agreed. However he said it was strictly sex no getting back together and I didn’t care. When I got there he took my phone and went through it. He said he was going to get back with me if he didn’t find anything between me and another guy. I was single so of course I had messages with guys. This put me back to square one.
A few more weeks of NC on and off. I would initiate NC and he would break it within a week. He would tell me he didn’t want me but when I stopped texting him he would hit me with small talk. He stuck by that he didn’t want me, but he got really hurt when I put a heart and a winky face to a guy on Twitter. So this made me think he does miss me if he’s still checking my social media.
Last week he told me that he missed me but by putting hearts to the guy on Twitter I lost my chance yet again. How was I supposed to know he wanted me? He didn’t tell me. Two days ago after a week of NC my insecurities got the best of me. I asked if I should move on or wait. He told me to move on but could see us together in the future when he forgives me. He also said he regretted cheating on me every day as if he wishes we were still together.
What is with the hot and cold signals? I have a feeling he will come around if I go a month with NC. What do the mixed signals mean? I miss him so much, he was my best friend. I want the cold hard truth. This has me pulling my hair out daily. Thanks in advance.
PS I was his first love and took his virginity.
