[ReversePolarity]

I already have a very hard time getting girls to notice me in bars and clubs (and anywhere else for that matter), because I, admittedly so, don’t act like Mr. Confidence. I sneak some looks and hope that eyes and smiles will eventually cross, instead of diving straight in and dancing with them. But even so, whenever I actually get their attention, it’s always temporarily, and it ends up with them re-ignoring me, or walking away without a word. Which makes me think one of two things. Either there was never any attraction in the first place and they just found me pictoresque and good to make fun of for a few moments (can never tell if they’re laughing with or at me), or something about the way I lead myself, dance or whatever, made them lose interest. Of course, it’s hard to say which is the worse possibility. I’d like to know your opinion and how I can reverse this situation. Thank you.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you’re not attracting women because you lack confidence, then you have to build your confidence! It’s that simple — and yet…. I know that it can seem like a daunting task. Here are some ways to build your confidence: 1) Make sure you look great. For instance, have a great haircut. Make sure your clothes are stylish and fit you well. Smell great and make grooming a habit, not a hobby. 2) Start doing things that you’re successful at. They can be sports, volunteering, succeeding at work — anything where you set yourself a goal and achieve that goal — is an opportunity to build your self esteem. Consider raising the bar on what you already do, too! 3) Face your fears and play the field. Rejection is part of dating, so you’ll get some “no’s” and that’s part of life, but you’ll also get a yes or two at the least and a lot of acceptances at best. So ask women out on dates and have fun!

If you do this, you’ll end up with a much healthier sense of self esteem and you’ll attract women in the way I think you’re hoping to. 😀

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