[Rosamore]

Okay so I’ve been in love with this guy for 4 years now! he’s one of my closest friends and we get along so well. we’re contineously in touch and last year I decided to confess my love to him. He was too confused then and ended up telling me he’d rather stay my best friend as always! It hurt a lot at that moment but I started to move on actually, especially after having no contact with him for a couple of months!
But lately, we gained back that contact. And last weekend he called me and said he’s too sick, he can’t even leave his bed. He was by himself at home as his roommates were out of town. and since I was living not so far from his, he asked me nicely to come over and take care of him. He’s my best friend so why would I say no? I went there, got him some medicines and stuff and really took good care of him. but what he cared about the most is ME not his health. his look was different, his touch, his words, everything! he started grabbing me closer to him on the bed and just hugged me at first. Then, I knew he wanted more, however he sweard that he won’t be doing any harm to me! (i’m a virgin) we started making out for a while on the bed, then he slept in my arms as he was too sick..when he woke up and found out it was already late in the evening (and it was raining) he insisted that I must spend the night with him there! he went out and brought dinner..and after that, we spent the WHOLE night making out (we didn’t have sex though, Because I wouldn’t let him)! he was the first man to ever touch me, I had my first kiss on that night..and I wouldn’t mind because he’s my first love after all..he treated me like his wife that time! anyway, after I went back home and stuff, we talked it over but he wasn’t willing to take a step further in our relationship! he knows how much I love him and he says he had the best night but he’s just not gonna change anything in our relationship! why? help me please I’m desperate! did I do something wrong? did I mean something to him really on that night or was I just a one night girl? and what can I do to make him change his mind?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The mistake that you’re making is not to believe him when he says he doesn’t want anything more than a friendship (with benefits). 😳 Not everyone wants the same thing at the same time, and he’s letting you know who he is loud and clear.

If you want a romantic relationship that is two way, you won’t get it with him. I never advise men and women to be friends because one person always has more feelings than the other and wants more than the other, and this results in confusion, frustration and hurt. That’s where you are right now.

Instead of trying to convince him to like you more or want a relationship he’s made clear he doesn’t way, stop chasing him and plotting to chase him. Instead, my advice is to that you let go of the friendship by understanding that it’s not a friendship — it’s a one way romance. You want a love affair with him, and he wants a friendship with benefits. That means you’re not compatible.

I know that this is disappointing to you, but if you get further involved, you’ll have more disappointment on your plate. 🙁

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[Nate_OK]

Clearly, you two don’t have the same state of mind and you need to move on and not fall back on his arms.
It is highly likely that if you step away from him he will try to have you back and I think you shouldn’t. Why is that? It’s because he is taking this decision not on his own, he is just answering of you stepping away.
First loves are often kind of harsh.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Member]

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