[tr4nsist0r]

My girlfriend left to help her sister in Napa, CA for 2 months with her wine touring company. While she is out there, she is staying at her sister’s which includes her sister’s fiancee and her niece. For the most part of month number 1, it was great if you don’t include how much we missed eachother. We have been inseperable, spoke of the future together, and then some. Well just before up until I had left, I visited her for a week all the way over in Napa, and she seemed very distant and weird. My trip was kinda ruined over it. Once I had left, she progressively got worse. It was to the point where everything was short worded. No enthusiasm to speak with me. Just awful. Well, enough was enough about a week or so ago when I told her that I think we should just end things because she has just been treating me terrible and being horribly distant. She’s been gone for 2 months, and I am craving her attention. I get that. But I am not asking for every minute of her day. I am just looking to talk to her more consistantly like we had used to. Like… text every once in a while. Maybe even have a phone call at a decent time. But she because very short worded while texting, and she only talks to me when I call her which is right before I am about to go to bed. I tried ending things with her, but she pleaded not to and that she was sorry. She told me things are very hectic and it’s become too much for her out there. Plus, with (according to her) “her being out there and everything that’s happened” she says she just needs a breather and promises to make things right when she gets home. Well, little did I know, when she meant breather, she meant VERY little to absolutely no interaction between either of us with her only being there for 8 more days. So, I try to end things of distance, she becomes heartfelt and accepts her actions, but wants me to wait to talk to her until she gets home and not speak to one another which is why I broke up with her in the first place. Now, I have noticed that she spends some time on her facebook and her niece and such. Well she is telling me theres too much on her plate for her to handle and that it would be better this way so she can think about things. Why does she want to spend more time to herself out there, her facebook and cell phone games, and her sister and family out there (when in fact she said they were the ones causing all the hectic things to happen). Yet, I am the one being punished and I have not done anything wrong. Please help! I am going crazy over this.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both? How long have you been dating each other?

[Nate_OK]

In this kind of situation, it’s more about keeping your head very calm. The more you think about it, the worse it will get. So the first thing is: act as if your relationship was over. She clearly needs room to breathe for whatever reasons. So give her space. If she really cares about you don’t worry she will come back very soon. Otherwise, if you split, it means she didn’t care that much.
So, don’t talk/text/facebook anymore. Don’t even spy her facebook account or whatever. Forget about it. Put it on pause and live your life. This is really important because you will show her that you are a men with self esteem and not accepting to be treated this way.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Member]

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