[lopec23]

My boyfriend have been dating for close to 2 years. We are both at the end of our college careers, hoping to move in together shortly either after college or for the last semester of college. We love each other very very much, but lately I’ve been super stressed out, and I feel like I haven’t been able to give him the attention he deserves. I’m a full time student with an internship and a job while he’s working 30 hours a week and taking 3 credits. Our schedules are completely opposite too. When I get the chance to be with him, I feel like we can’t spend “quality” time together. For example, when I finally get to see him and he’s over I’m stressing out about an exam or we are too exhausted. I often end up falling asleep by the time he gets off work, so I find it really hard to spend the time together that we need. I don’t want us to lose any connection we have due to stress or our relationship, and I’d really like to have time to focus on school, work, internship and him but it’s always him getting the shaft. What is some advice that you could give for this situation? I’ve tried balancing out everything but it’s just really difficult at this point.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

This is a problem that will follow you throughout your life. Everyone has to learn to balance and what you have to balance has to do with where you are in your life. Sometimes it’s college courses, internships and part time jobs with relationships. Other times it’s marriage, children and careers. Regardless, this is a great time for you to work on this challenge!

Sometimes if you look at the challenge as a puzzle and literally make puzzle pieces out of all the things you want to do in a day or a week and then be honest about how many things you actually can do in a day or a week (weight the activities according to energy exerted for each one). Make a schedule on a big bulletin board and put the pieces in order of what you can realistically do. Maybe your computer applications can help you do this on a smart phone or a computer screen.

Then understand that you can’t do everything. Some things have to be put off or cut down on. Prioritize and make time for what is most important to you. This can be disappointing when you realize you can’t do everything, but making these choices consciously and knowing your limits and resources is a much better way to learn about yourself and the relationship!

I hope this helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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