[olivia5552]

We have been dating for almost 4 months. At the beginning, it was amazing. He was attentive, his crazy matched my crazy, I really felt like he could be “the one”. We were living quite far from each other, but managed to see at least every weekend. He visited me, I introduced him to my friends, they were really amazed by how we are perfect for each other. Then I left the country (1000 km away) but knowing that I’m coming back. At that time, it was really difficult, but we managed to work even with having long-distance relationship. We were texting, skyping everyday, he told me he never missed anybody this much. Then after 6 weeks I went to visit him, we had great 10 days together, I felt like our relationship is getting stronger. Then I had to go away again. But this time he was much more distant, still texiting he misses me and that it’s very difficult. He had less time (his school started, so it was understandable) but was saying all the time he wants to be with me. So we met after a month and everything was great again. I was visiting him the day before yesterday. Everything was even better, we had our usual laugh, had a great time, even went out with his friends for the first time. Saturday morning was also amazing, smiling at each other, cuddling. And then we were talking when are we gonna see each other again. He was supposed to come next week and then we didn’t know cause he had some duties for school. So I told him how frustrated I am about the situation, that it’s difficult, that Iwant him really much but can’t do this anymore. He was surprised because I didn’t elaborate my statement and told me I should do that, so I told him again, that I want us to work and I am willing to do everything in order to manage. I wanted him to tell me what he thinks about all of it but he was quiet, thinking for minutes and then I asked again a he said he wants me. But we have problems. I asked what problems and he said distance- I said that it can be fixed. Then he said something about communication and that he likes me. I pushed and told that that is the problem. And he broke down, started to cry (was crying for hour and half) and telling me that we shouldn’t continue. I was shocked, didn’t see that coming at all. He told me he was in love at the beginning but was in doubt for our future for longer time, so I started to cry as well, told him I have never loved anybody as much as I love him. We were both crying, he even more and was saying sorry, telling me it will be alright.
It’s the next day and I feel like dying, cause yesterday was the last time I saw a man I thought of is the love of my life.
And he was crying, over and over again. In the evening he sent me a text he hopes the best for me, that I am te kindest person he ever met. And that he hopes we can be friends some time. I answered that no, he hurt me too much. And for the last time sent him a goodnight text. He answered – goodnight beautiful with heart emoji.
I cannot accept it and it doesn’t feel like he was telling me what he really felt and especially the fact that he broke down and cried (I have never seen him like that before)
I can’t see anything in my future without him, I just love him so much. Is there anything? any hope?
Thank you for answer

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m very sorry you’re so hurt. Long distance relationships are tough — and they’re much more difficult than in person relationships. One of the first rules of long distance relationship is that you have to let a lot go. When you start complaining about the very nature of the relationship, he can’t fix that. And when guys can’t fix something, they don’t feel good about themselves, or the relationship. For future, if you’re upset about the distance in a long distance relationship, vent to your friends. Vent to your family, but don’t vent to the guy you’re in it with. Long distance relationships work because both people want them to work.

So for now, you can move on because it was a four month investment and you met someone awesome — with whom you didn’t want to make the distance part of the relationship work, and learn an important lesson about yourself: that you want an in town relationship. That’s my advice. You can always move to where he is, but I would never advise doing so after only four months, without an invitation from him to do so because the risk is so high of things not working out.

Again, I’m really sorry — but you did learn something extremely valuable about yourself, and you were lucky to be with someone you cared about so much. 🙂

[Member]

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