[BrockLesnar02]

I’m definitly about to climb up a huge mountain on this one and the odds are stacked against me at this point….but it is worth my best shot, so I’m ready to give it all I got! If you believe in the old saying “Love is worth fighting for” than you’ll be w/ me and in my corner on this one. Ok here it goes and I’ll try to only bullet point the key points here to make an extremely long, complex story as short as I can…..

– About 3 years ago, approx December ’07, I met and fell deeply in love w/ a girl I met at my new job ( A new career change for me actually) We really hit it off at our annual company Holiday party!

– We continued dating throughout the winter, spring, summer months w/ virtually no major conflicts and grew closer and closer to one another emotionally, intimately, companionshiply, etc.. We started realizing that we were both meant to be w/ one another. We just clicked! Felt like we were both on cloud 9 after everytime we saw one another and couldn’t wait to see each other each time.

– As Fall ’08 came about, however, I noticed she started getting more and more demanding and saying she wants a real committment and wants us to seriously start planning a future together etc. It was also at this time that I noticed her mother getting more and more involved in our affairs and getting involved too much in her daughter & I’s business. (My biggest worry at this time in taking the next step and getting engaged was that I was really in no financial position to do it yet b/c I was still only a few months into this new career and I was still rebuilding financially after being near broke after leaving my last line of work due to the downfall of the real estate/housing market……I was pretty much slowly starting over financially) I loved this girl to the point where I could see myself marrying her one day, but this wasn’t the right time. It is a two way street and has to work for BOTH sides! They never understood that and kept trying to push and force the issue and get me to put the ring on the finger asap.

– She and her mother even went so far as to almost demand me to get her an engagement ring for X-mas present as the holidays approached! Most men probably would’ve took that assertiveness from them as a huge red flag and would’ve taken a hike,,,,but I thought I could try to reason w/ them. I did not end up getting the ring for her that X-mas as they nearly demanded. It led to our first MAJOR fight and we nearly broke up b/c I didn’t get her an engagement ring after 11 months of dating her! The mother apparently doesn’t believe in anybody dating her daughter for more than a year w/out being engaged!! I thought this was 2009, not 1909!!!!

-We got through the Holidays and into the new year when the mother calls me up out of the blue one day and asks me when I was going to propose to her daughter flat out and that she helped and spoke to a local jeweler to give me an affordable price on a ring that her daughter was in love w/. Despite something deep down just not feeling quite right about all this, I went and saw the jeweler and we came to a price agreement and I got the ring and gave it to her on Valentine’s Day that year in a fashion that she will never ever forget no matter where & who we both end up w/. She must’ve said “Yes” about 20 times w/in about a minute after asking her….So w/ that, after about 13 months of dating, we got engaged, despite something not quite feeling right about all this…..I just chalked it up at the time as having slight jitters, which I was told was natural in such a life-changing decision.

– Fast-forward a couple months later when the hoopla of the engagement started dying down and we started looking at venues, while both under the assummed understanding that we were gonna wait at least a year to save money and progress our careers and build up credit, etc. At first we seemed to be on the same page w/ that expectation, but suddenly as we went to see different venues, I notice she was talking to the wedding planners as if the wedding would be very shortly, within that summer!! This was not what we both agreed and here she goes again being very assertive, inconsiderate, and very pushy about the situation and try to rush things! Her mother once again behind it all! “We don’t believe in long engagements!” Is what they kept reiterating!

-After several weeks of arguements and tension about this dilema and going back and forth as to who was in control of when we get married, it all came to an ugly head that would pretty much shatter our relationship one May Sunday afternoon at my fiancee’s parents house, w/ one of my parents present w/ me as well. It got to a point where it was her family, including my fiancee’ vs. Me and my family. We both wanted to marry each other, but the conflict was the time frame! She and her mother were all about asap, w/in 3-4 months and myself and my family were in no hurry and thought at least 1-2 years would be a hell of alot more beneficial for everyone involved since it gives more time to plan! Most young couple’s today in this day and age are engaged at least 1 year for a reason, while most live together 1st before even getting engaged! Most definitly agreed w/ me and my family’s theory! However, when I flat out told her and her Mom that Sunday about how unflexible, unreasonable and pushy they were about this, the Mother completely snapped and insulted me and my family and threw us out of her house! Said some very disturbing & offensive things which were shocking to hear, especially since she seemed so nice for all these months. She turned on me in a heartbeat and seemed almost like a “demon possessed” and just wanted to inflict verbal harm to us because we weren’t giving in to what she wanted! Me and my mother, however, the classy people we are, didnt get just as nasty and match insults w/ her in a retaliation of rage & fury, instead we left w/out saying a word back. However, the Mother’s true colors came about in that outburst! She never really did respect me or my family and got very aggravated/frustrated when I was resilient to her and not let her total control & persuade me into doing what she wanted!

-After weeks and weeks of not speaking to one another, me and my fiancee decided to both meet one summer day in neutral spot, just the two of us in a big public outdoor park and talked for a bit. I noticed that the girl i was speaking to did not seem like the same girl i had feel in love w/ over the previous year and a half and she seemed almost brainwashed by her Mom into pointing the blame ALL on me and my family for the issues we were having and didn’t even apologize for her mothers classless remarks and the fact that she herself did nothing in defense of me to her. This was the MAN that she was suppossed to marry! When push came to shove…..SHE sided w/ HER MOTHER! I thought that said alot about her right there! So our relationship pretty much ended w/ her storming off and driving away in her car and her not even interested in listening to me or my plans on how to fix the relationship. It seems like she already made up her mind before even talking to me and her mom had a lot to do w/ it as well! It certainly was not proper closure to the relationship! Alot was left unsaid!

– It was devastating, but I started picking up the pieces and trying to move on w/ my life, but in the meantime wondering how did something so great w/ us get so bad??? What did I do wrong?? What could I have done differently?? Will she come to her senses and reach out to me someday?? I took some valuable time to work on me and didn’t jump right back in to dating someone else yet. I actually became very into self-improvement for myself….intellectually, Physically, and Financially…I started working out at the gym again religiously and started taking kickboxing classes to vent my frustration about the whole situation and also improve my confidence ego, which had taken a blow in the aftermath, not to mention help whip me into shape again like I had been back in college when I was a workout freak. I also begain reading literature and the daily newspapers to imporve myself intellectually and also took on a second side job to improve financially.

-Only a couple months after that July day when we last spoke to one another which led to her “storming off” I hear that she has already started dating someone new! She might as well have taken a scissor and cut my heart to shreds w/ that news…..I didnt understand how she could’ve been sooo into me and ready to marry me and spend her life w/ me and be sooooo deeply in love w/ me only a few months earlier, and just like that already have moved on to another guy??? Didn’t make sense….I then find out that this guy is pre-med and comes from money, almost a similar background to her and her family…..I’ve never felt to betrayed after hearing that, seems like the money situation was more important to her than she had let on originally when she told me “I love you for you” and “Money doesn’t matter, I love you whether you have $10 or $100,000…..our love is priceless, etc!!” it seems like the word “Hypocritical” became more and more accurate to describe her and her Mother after all. After one last attempt to talk to her and sending her flowers at her work & no response back….I decided to let her go once and for all and move on! A few months later I started dating someone else, although it didnt really lead to anything to serious as neither one of us were in the right place in our lives to move things to very very serious. Only lasted about 6 months or so.

-In the meantime, over the last year, my Ex-fiancee’ got embarrassingly fired from our company due to poor performance and I havent seen or spoke to her in several months but I hear she is still dating this same guy for over a year now, and knowing her and how fast she works….the subject of marriage has definitly come about and they may even be engaged already for all i know. But my string feelings have resurfaced again recently and have been seeing a lot of reminders about us lately. Too many reminders to just be coincidence. Something deep w/in me is telling me to go back after her and try to win her back! I just do not know how to go about it!

It’s been well over a year she’s w/ this guy, Do I even stand a chance at this point???? If they’re still dating, he has to be doing something right. I would almost have to find my way back into her life just to even talk to her….Do I call her, assuming she still has the same old phone number that is…??? Do I write her?? Do I email her?? Or do i really take a huge risk and take a ride to her house, assuming she still lives there and try to speak to her in person??? And if I do so, what do I possibly say to her after over a year?? All i know is that my feelings are still real after all this time….and I NEED to know if she still has the feelings too….whether they be hidden at this point or not……Something doesn’t add up about all this……..Any comments/advice/or feedback would be greatly appreciated….What do I do from here????? Do I go after it one more time or just walk away and leave it alone since it may lead to even worse heart break , given the circumstances of the breakup & by some miracle that you do patch things up??? I still have to deal w/ her & her controlling mother all over again and people like that don’t change! I just really strongly feel that I can get this girl back and that there’s a REASON why my feelings for her have resurfaced once again after all this time! Please help…..thanx

[Ask April Masini]

You need to be realistic. You didn’t realize when you started dating your ex-fiance that marriage was on her agenda, or that she was so close to her family, but as you got to know her, you did. Dating is a process to get to know someone and find out if you’re both compatible with each other. While love was your priority, love and marriage together, within a year or so, were hers. It isn’t fair to ignore her priorities once you know them — and it isn’t fair for her to ignore yours, either. It sounds like you both ignored or fudged over this incompatibility and didn’t communicate clearly about it. But now that you know how important her timetable is, unless you’re ready to get married [i]now[/i], there’s no sense trying to date her again.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and join me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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