[logan524]

First, my mom never hits me. My brother and I got into a fight at McDonald’s—we threw ketchup on each other. I’m older (I’m 15), he is 13. I got some ketchup on a woman’s clothes and my mom had to reimburse her for the damage.

My mom freaked out on me, she told me I was an immature baby and my brother too—in front of people in McDonald’s. Leaving McDonald’s, she told us that she should get us some pacifiers and some pampers and a playpen. People were looking at me, as if she were right.

She took away my XBox. I can’t go out on weekends now. On the car ride home she was yelling at us, telling us when she goes to Walmart, she should buy us a crib and stuff.

Can I turn her into CPS for abuse saying those things to me? Isn’t it slander or something saying lies about someone? Saying I need pampers and making me look bad in public? For the record, my brother started it. It’s not fair she took away my games and I can’t go out now. she won’t sign me up fro drivers ed she is overeacting over this please help with advice. i know i made a mistake i just want my shit back.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Got it. You’re mad, and you’re punished and you feel like it’s unfair, and on top of it, your mom embarrassed you in public. And you want your freedom back. I get it. You didn’t mean to get ketchup on another woman, and you probably don’t realize that your mom was embarrassed by that, so unfortunately, she embarrassed you back.

I can help you. 😀

This isn’t abuse. It’s your mom blowing her stack because you got ketchup on a stranger and she has to pay the dry cleaning bill. And it’s not slander because she didn’t damage your reputation — she just hurt your feelings and embarrassed you. Nobody who heard her really thought you needed a playpen or Pampers. Real slander is when lies spoken about people hurt their reputation because they’re believable enough. Your mom was just mad at her teenagers. It happens. Chances are that things were going on in her private life that you don’t know about — whether it’s stuff with your dad, or stuff at work, or stuff with her own mom, or money or maybe she didn’t feel well — I’m guessing here, but trying to give you something to consider, that this wasn’t just about you and your brother, but that when you got ketchup on a stranger, she just lost it after what may have been a bad day or a bad week.

So, let’s focus on you. 😀 You want your Xbox and video games back and you want to take driver’s ed classes. Since you are 15, she’s in charge, so rather than viewing her as an obstacle or an enemy see if you can get on the same team. I know that probably sounds foreign, but she is your mother and you’re a family and we don’t get to pick our family members. Right now, she’s probably feeling embarrassed, angry, overwhelmed and unappreciated. Whether or not you agree with her feelings, they’re hers. So try to talk to her and keep your eye on the ball. I’m pretty sure you don’t want her to be angry or to blow her stack, so start there. Tell her that. Then shock her by saying that you could easily say it’s your 13 year old brother’s fault, but you got yourself involved by throwing ketchup with him, and that was just wrong and you never meant to get ketchup on the other customer in McDonald’s. Tell her you understand how she was probably embarrassed and upset that she had to pay for the woman’s dry cleaning bills because you and your brother were playing with ketchup in a restaurant, and you’re sorry. You got carried away. Offer to reimburse her for the dry cleaning bills from your babysitting money (if you don’t babysit, start!) 😉 and tell her that you hope she’ll be able to find a way to forgive you because aside from wanting your video games back, you really don’t want to make her mad or upset her. Tell her that it hurt your feelings when she called you a baby in front of other people, and that you were so hurt, you got mad. Tell her you don’t want to be mad, and you don’t want to get into ketchup wars again, and that you’re sorry. Tell her you love her and you appreciate her for all she does (name specifics), and that you hope the two of you can get over this, together.

I know — it’s a stretch — but use this script if you have to and then riff with your own words and feelings. Don’t lie, but if any of this feels right, use it because it feels right.

If you call CPS or anyone, you’re just ratcheting up the fight and moving away from peace — and peace is what you want. As well as your stuff back. And your mom not mad. 😉

I hope that helps.

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[logan524]

april it does help and thank you.

LOOK HERE IS THE THING MY MOM JUST DIDNT CALL ME A BABY BUT TOLD ME I BELONG IN PAMPERS AGAIN look people heard her call me a baby in mcdonalds and tell me that she was going to get me diapers and a crib for what i did. i have witnessess dont you think that would help with soical servcies. its not fair it was only ketchup we threw on people and the people in front of us were old like in 60s (im not being mean when i say there in there 60s)they wouldnt even know it was on there clothes if my mom didnt say anything. its not fair you know. i dont want to sound like a whinny baby . she had to pay 45 bucks for the clothes i ruined but that was her choice. BUT NO OTHER MOM WOULD TELL ME THAT I SHOULD BE IN DIAPERS AND NEED A BOTTLE ONLY MINE DOES THAT. thats how un cool she is.. IT WAS ONLY MCDONALDS NO PLACE FANCY AND IT WAS KETCHUP. her telling everyone im a baby and belong in pampers and stuff was foul you know and a bunch of lies. no one got hurt it was only ketchup.
I JUST WANT HER TO FORGET ABOUT IT. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH THAT RIGHT? cause of her actions peopple think im a baby now
its not like anyone got hurt. no one broke a leg. she told me i made her look bad like she was a bad mom. she told me i cant be trusted to be by myself that i need a baby sitter. she wont let me take drivers ed now she says im to immature to drive

[logan524]

THANK YOU FOR GETTING BACK TO ME
MY MOM JUST DIDNT CALL ME A BABY BUT TOLD ME I BELONG IN PAMPERS AGAIN look people heard her call me a baby in mcdonalds and tell me that she was going to get me diapers and a crib for what i did. i have witnessess dont you think that would help with soical servcies. its not fair it was only ketchup we threw on people and the people in front of us were old like in 60s (im not being mean when i say there in there 60s)they wouldnt even know it was on there clothes if my mom didnt say anything. its not fair you know. i dont want to sound like a whinny baby . she had to pay 45 bucks for the clothes i ruined but that was her choice. BUT NO OTHER MOM WOULD TELL ME THAT I SHOULD BE IN DIAPERS AND NEED A BOTTLE ONLY MINE DOES THAT. thats how un cool she is.. IT WAS ONLY MCDONALDS NO PLACE FANCY AND IT WAS KETCHUP. her telling everyone im a baby and belong in pampers and stuff was foul you know and a bunch of lies. no one got hurt it was only ketchup.
I JUST WANT HER TO FORGET ABOUT IT. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH THAT RIGHT? cause of her actions peopple think im a baby now
its not like anyone got hurt. no one broke a leg. she told me i made her look bad like she was a bad mom. she told me i cant be trusted to be by myself that i need a baby sitter. she wont let me take drivers ed now she says im to immature to drive I KNOW I MADE A MISTAKE

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you’re set on calling Child Protective Services, then you probably will. Chances are that when you tell them why you’re calling and what happened, and what you want to happen, they’ll be more interested in focusing on other more serious abuse cases where there is domestic violence, sexual assault — very dark stuff — and not one where you threw ketchup in a restaurant and your mom called you a baby in front of people. But that’s just my opinion. 😉 There is, however, the off chance that you may get an investigation going, and your family will be involved in the court system, as well as the police system. So, sleep on your decision.

Consider that you seem pretty set on being angry and punishing your mom, as well as at the same time, wanting her to forget about what happened. Kind of opposites, right? 😉 I think that calling Child Protective Services isn’t going to make her forget. In fact, it’s a pretty bold move, and it’s probably going to make her forget a lot less, if ever — so make sure you’re focused on getting what you want. There’s also a good chance that Child Protective Services is going to think that what she did is not a big deal. I know you’re really sure that you’re right, but sometimes people see things differently than you do, no matter how obvious you think they are.

I hope that helps. 🙂

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[logan524]

JUST SAY I JUST CHILL OUT AND DO NOTHING LET SOME GO BY. BUT WHAT DO I DO IN THE MEAN TIME WITH HER COMMENTS. U KNOW THE PAMPERS AND CRIB STUFF. JUST LET IT GO? IM NOT A BABY APRIL

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I know you’re not a baby. 🙂 You’re a 15 year old.

Sometimes you have to forgive people. We all make mistakes and sometimes we have bad days and we act out and we hurt other people. That’s what relationships are all about — whether they’re with your mom, a friend, a boy…. So, when you have the opportunity to forgive someone who does mostly good things, and now and then screws up, it’s nice to practice. And…. when you’re ready, decide if you had any responsibility in the situation, and what you’ll do differently next time.

Go watch the new Taylor Swift video, “Shake it Off”. 😀 It’s about shaking off things that other people say. 🙂

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