April,
I’ve been with my girlfriend now for 3 years and though we’ve had some rough patches, all and all, its been fulfilling. We are both young and each others first real relationship. The first two years of our relationship, she was very jealous. She wanted me to cut ties with female friends and wasn’t comfortable me with making new female friends while we were both in college. Often, I would miss events sponsored by the club I was in because of her jealousy. Even though I gave her no reason, she was so insecure about our relationship, she thought I would cheat on her. I never did cheat on her, but after the first two years, I had just enough of that, I put my foot down and I put it down hard. I made it clear that she couldn’t control what I do as much as she did and the activities I took part would all take her and her feelings into consideration. She and I both found common ground and this past year has been great.
However, just recently things started to feel weird. When we are together, she doesn’t seem like she is enjoying herself and the way she talks, I feel like she is having a better time with her co workers. Not to say that is wrong, but when she talks about her day compared to the time we spend together, it’s very polarizing and I can’t help but feel left out. One day, she asked me to meet her after work so we can get some yogurt and hang out. My phone died, so i figured I’d wait outside for a little bit. A little bit turned into 2 hours and when she came out laughing with friends and when she saw me, she had a very discouraging look on her face and simply said, “Didn’t you get my text? I told you not to come because I was getting out late.” Maybe I’m reading to deep into it, but I felt crushed. Tonight she is giving this guy who flirts with her a ride home from work because they have the same shift. I’m a bit ambivalent about it, but I trust her, so it’s not really a problem. The only reason I mention it, because coupled with my other feelings, I’m a little uncomfortable. Then just today, she was talking about her interest in experimenting with the same sex, in her words, “If they were hot, then sure I would.” Although she assured that she would consider that cheating and never do it as long as we were together.
Essentially, I feel that maybe being so young and being in this long term relationship, she wants to try new things and be with other people, friendship or otherwise. I feel like I’m holding her back. When I bring it up she insists that this is the relationship she wants, but I think she is in denial. Am I reading far to deep into everything or is there real cause for concern?
Thank you,
confused boyfriend
