[Anonymous]

I have been married for 7 years. We have two little girls together. He is now active duty Navy. In the 7 years we have been together, he has cheated 3 times that I know of. I am tired, drained, and depressed. Each time he was caught after cheating he has said that he would change and that it was a mistake and he had a revelation basically and will never do it again. This time (after the 3rd time) he is saying the same things plus things I have never heard him say. He is in counseling. He wants to win me back. I am too scared to trust him…he has always been a liar, and proven that he knows I won’t leave..so his habits continued. What do I do? I feel like my gut is telling me to get out of the situation. I don’t know how..but now, what he is saying is starting to make me wonder again if he really is going to change this time. It sounds like it…I am completely lost. Also, another man has come into my life now…he seems to be everything I want out of a man…it is confusing me, but I am refusing to blow him off because I truly feel that he is actually helping me. He isn’t trying to steer me away from my husband..he is all about positive thinking and wants to do what will make ME happy..No one has ever cared about what would make me happy. I need help!

[Ask April Masini]

It sounds like your husband has a clear pattern of behavior that isn’t good for you or your family and that accepting that pattern is extremely painful for you. 🙁 You’re in a very tough position because you have three children, and your husband is in active duty — I’m not sure from your post where he’s actively on duty and whether or not it’s close to home or afar. Regardless, a divorce is a very scary thing to everyone, but you’ve got fears and doubts about how you’re going to survive if you do leave him. I get it. 🙁

If you stay, you’re going to see more of the same behavior. Your gut instinct is coming through your post loud and clear, as well as your fears. Ultimately, you’re going to have had enough and will leave him. You have to decide how much more of this you can tolerate, and whether or not your ability to tolerate his behavior outweighs your children’s needs to have a traditional family unit. If your depression from his betrayals becomes so great that your parenting is affected, leaving him is prudent.

Do some soul searching and privately, talk to an attorney about divorce in your situation. Let me know how things go, and what you decide to do. I hope this has helped.

Please join me on Facebook, as well. I’d love to have you as part of my AskApril.com on Facebook community. Membership is free, and you can request it at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Nancy2k7]

I am in my early 50’s and have been online many times to these dating sites. Most of the men that contact me either just send an email that says they like my profile, they have poor grammar/ spelling, the pictures on their profile are of their car, dog, backyard, shirtless, or with other women. All are turn offs. Just as much a turnoff is someone who is too flattering and complimentary in an opening email. I happen to be one of those women that always sends a “not interested” or “no thanks” note to someone who either contacts or winks at me. (many of them don’t take no for an answer, which is an entirely different column for you to write). Oh….and let’s have a column about the men that send out hundreds of winks then when the woman replies; she never hears from him back. What’s up with that? Shooting fish in a barrel with a shotgun? Bottom line: Realize that if I am really interested in you; you will know it.

[Ask April Masini]

Dating isn’t easy — at any age! But your point about online dating sites being tough to navigate is well taken! 🙂 That’s EXACTLY why I wrote Think & Date Like A Man, a book for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. Right. There are lots of ways you can win the dating game, but the first is to acknowledge that it’s not easy and the second is to arm yourself with my tips and advice and an attitude that says, “I want to win!” 😆 Check out my book — it’s helped a lot of people on this site and others. Here’s the link — it’s an easy and automatic download and for $15.95, you’ll save a lot of money you may have otherwise spent on dating site memberships! [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

Join me on Facebook, too! That membership is free. 😀 Here’s the link for AskAprl.com on Facebook (I hope to see you there!) [url][/url].

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