I broke up with my boyfriend not because I didn’t love him, but because I felt that I put way more effort into the relationship than he did. He’s intelligent, funny, and the sex was great. I did so many things for him that took so much time and effort and creativity. I always encouraged him to try new things and be the kind of person he wants to be. He appreciated it, but he didn’t do the same for me. He was content doing practically nothing, and he complained often. There were other bothersome things too, but they’re somewhat negligible. After asking him repeatedly for more effort and maybe getting it for a day but no longer, I got discouraged and left.
My best friend has always had my back and been one of my favorite people to share conversation, music, and art. We’re great at helping each other grow as people. We love having adventures together. After a while, we realized we loved each other. I told him I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship because neither my ex nor I are over one another. But my best friend and I have still been seeing each other more often, talking every day, and kissing.
Recently my ex has made changes to most of the things that were causing problems before and he wants to get back together. We had such a powerful bond, and I’m not sure if I can find that with anyone else. We were so happy the first 2 years of our relationship (we dated for 3), but the last year has been more and more miserable. He’s done a lot to prove that he’s changed his attitude, but I wonder if we can ever be as happy as we were before. I think maybe it’s possible? My best friend and I are always happy when we’re with each other. So should I get back together with my ex or pursue a relationship with my best friend? If I do go back to him, how do I let my best friend down, and how should I proceed with both relationships from there?
