[Okayplayer]

My questions;
-Am I wasting my time being patient in hopes that we can come to the same page where we both see equal value in this thing we are doing?
-Am I wrong to be concerned with her communication with her ex given she told me he still likes her, and even though she has told me numerous times she would never date him again, i have seen through her messages that she has requested they make plans to snowboard etc etc.
-Am I wrong to be concerned about her “friend” whom I have come to realize is someone very important to her as well to him but they were bitter at each other when I arrived to town for unknown reasons until i found out that, he was sleeping with her and another girl, and when the girl i see found out it caused issues with their friendship. They are still not as good as they used to be, but he told me he felt bad about what he felt like he caused, since she told him about what happened with us, and we have all since gone out together.
-Am I wrong to want to continually seek answers about how she really feels about things, through the communication she has with her peers? I am dying to know what she has been telling her friends on her imessages account which I more than likely would get access to when she gets back in town
-Am I making a horrible decision to try to make this work? It feels like the right girl at the wrong time, so is it wrong to relax and be patient and hope for her to come around to the idea of us as a concrete thing?

I also don’t know how I would continue or let this go so I am really hoping to seek answers from a neutral unbiased professional . I am tired of the grey area. Hopefully this gave you enough insight into whats going on to help. Thanks for your time

[April Masini, your AskApril]

This isn’t that complicated. What you need to do is to start taking responsibility for yourself. For instance, don’t have unprotected sex. She got pregnant, but you were a part of that. Don’t drink and drive. You got a DUI, and you had a hand in that. And don’t sugar coat the fact that your girlfriend is dating other guys and isn’t interested in a commitment with you — at least not the kind you want. When you try and fool yourself, you start seeing complications at every turn. This is simple if you allow yourself to see it that way. That’s why my suggestion is to accept that she’s someone who plays the field and if you’re interested in dating her under those circumstances, then you should. But if you’re looking for a long-term, committed relationship, you should find someone who is interested in the same thing, with you! 😉

[Okayplayer]

Thanks for your prompt response. I guess the major problem in the whole ordeal is she straight up tells me shes not interested in anyone else right now but she’s not directly saying she’s interested in me although all actions point that she is ie. staying at her family’s place for a whole week during Christmas. Its the grey area I was referring too. im told indirectly and directly im wanted around and that she wants us to have a chill relationship but at the same time like i said, the other people and other things are a concern. if she wants to the play the field as you stated why am I told that’s not whats going on, I am overthinking what’s really going on. It making me question my decisions, and whether I am in the right or wrong. Thanks again. Love what you have done here

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It looks like you’ve edited out a lot of what you originally posted above in your original January 5 post…. it appears you did the editing today. Unfortunately, this makes my response seem incongruent, since you took out the part about having unprotected sex and the DUI, and probably other things…. Your editing after I gave you advice makes my advice look off base…. 😳

[Member]

Posts