"April Masini answers questions no one else can and tells you the truth that no one else will."

Confused………

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  • #4132
    PittPens
    Member #43,203

    Okay, So I recently just started dating a women a few weeks ago I myself are 33 and she is 32. We have gone out numerous times and I enjoy her company very much and feel that she feels the sameway. But, yet at the sametime I’m a bit confused which I will honestly say is the first time while dating someone new. Here is were my confusion is, I have noticed that she can be very….to put it simply hot/cold at times. It’s like that it’s a day here or a day there but this occurs when we are out or even at her/my place.
    The examples that I will use are the most current situations, last night when we were out at one point we both were standing next to one another and I went to lean in to give her a kiss when she then proceded to pull away and with a funny look on her face said thats only going to happen here if you put a ring on my finger but then in the sameplace about 40min later I went to lean in and give her another kiss and that went off with not problem followed by several other ones later that night.
    Then here is the kicker….we’ve been hanging out for a little over two weeks and we haven’t yet had sex with one another yet. Well, the other day when we were laying in bed we started talking about bad dates etc in our pasts and I brought up a story about a particular date that I was one were the girl seemed to be only interested in sex. Well while finishing my horror story about that date, she proceded to ask me why I haven’t tried to have sex with her yet???? and she said something a long the lines of “I think you like me ” , were I proceded to tell her that of course I do and that the reason why I hadnt’ yet was due to the fact that I didn’t want to just jump straight into a physciall relationship right in the beginning and wanted to get to know her more and more importatnly I told her that I didn’t want for her to think that I was only spending time with her for sex.
    So, the following night we went out again and she invited me to stay at her house after a late night out. When we got back to her place to make a long story short I made my move , where initally she was responding to it but THEN stopped me and said to me “I don’t think so, I’m not in the mood and you missed your opportunity” which I was taken back by.
    Now that morning while the two of us where getting ready and after she got out of the shower she came into the room only wearing a towel and I made a suttle remark about her only wearing the towel and she said, well if we had sex already I would be walking around naked followed by now its your turn to wait. Well that day we went out for lunch and everything was as it had been we laughed talked a lot and when I dropped her off she kissed me goodbye.

    So, pretty much this explains my confusion and arent sure if she is just playing hard to get/games or if its a way of her testing me to see if I will try harder??? I’m looking for everyones take on thigs and appreciate your thoughts.

    #17820

    The first example of confusion where you tried to kiss her and she rebuffed you, but then later in the night, you won her over, requires you to analyze what was going on when she rebuffed you, and then what was going on when she accepted your advances. You’re still getting to know her, and if you try and learn what makes her interested and what cools her off, you’ll have a better idea of how to get what you want.

    As for the second example of your confusion, it sounds like she is ready to sleep with you and is frustrated at having to wait for you, so her talk of your now having to wait for her because you “missed your chance” is her passive aggressive way of punishing you.

    You’re right in wanting to get to know her further before committing too much to this relationship. She’s different than you are, and she’s more emotional and moody, which isn’t necessarily a deal breaker, but it requires some skill and patience on your part if there is enough about her that you want to continue to pursue.

    I hope that helps. Let me know how things go.

    And please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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