[Anonymous]

well i have quite the story. i met this gal in college and we became great friends. and she knew that i would not ask her out because she had a boyfriend and in my books it is not cool to spend more time with a girl than her boyfriend does. but anyway i had to housesit for my mom in febuary and i didnt want to be alone so around a month before i asked her if she wanted to come over and visit one day. she said sure and we made plans that she would visit during the week so her and her man could still have valentines together. he went balistic when he heard we were going to hangout and did alot of really stupid and immature things (locked himself in her room when she was in the shower after cooking him breakfast in bed) and because of it they eventualy broke up and stayed friends. and a month later when she came to visit me we ended hooking up and becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. and for months it was amasing ive never imagined a relationship could go so smoothly, i even met her parents and they absolutly loved me (they didnt care for him). but earlier in the month it all changed. she texted me at my moms birthday and told me she wanted to talk the next day. and we broke up. but she wouldnt tell me why and she kept insisting we be friends. but i told her its a no go for friends but i’ll give her time if she wants to change her mind. and college grad was that week. odd thing though is we fought all week but at grad it was like we were back together (flirting smiling. even holding hands). (and for the record she finished college in jan i finished in june.) and i still love her and want to get back together and she knows it. so we fought a bit. but last week (3 weeks after the break) she went camping with her ex and they are back together. and since then we started hanging out more as friends but she keeps giving me mixed signals one min we are flirting and having a blast next min shes telling me a story about her current boyfriend(old boyfriend). then i finaly got her to say she wishes she could date us both because she said there is things she likes about each of us and she wants to make a solid choice before she truly decides who she wants to be with (she wants to find a rock was her exact words). and for the record i did alot of things during the breakup i shouldnt have done (called her lots, asked her family to talk to her, talked to her friends, e.c.t). another thing you should know is before they broke up they were together for almost a year. and im leaving to universty in september and will be 6 hours away and she said she doesnt know if she can handle a long distance relationship… the thing that confuses me is when i look into her eyes i can still tell shes attracted to me. i just dont know what to do i still want her back and trust me im no wimp needy guy and i never did anything bad to put the relationship in jepordy. and there was no signs that she was unhappy it was almost instant and caught me off guard. i just want her back, i know i could handle a long distance relationship, and i would be back all the time. i just need some advice, anything would help. and for the record she does have some self esteme issues and anxiety but those dont bother me and it seems every guy in her past( exept her family) has either abused her or has treated her like shit. but my family welcomed her with open arms. it just doesnt make sence. Thank you

[Anonymous]

i forgot to mention that she was with him for almost a year but we have only been together 6 months. i know it doesnt seem like a long time but it was very smooth going. and one of the reasons she left him is because he smothered her and never gave her space. and another thing i thought was interesting is she cant stand to wear necklaces to bed (long story that involes a sexual assault) and her old boyfriend gave her one but she takes it off at night. but i gave her my high school ring on a chain as a promice ring to show her i was committed, and she never took it off even at night. but she took it off the day we broke up. i dont know ifs thats somthing important but i figured you should know… please help i dont know wether i should stick around and still visit her every second weekend or so(she knows my intentions). or should i stay friends and just stay quiet. or should i just completly walk away. i dont want too by any means but the thought of another man in the place is a hard bite to swallow. and before if i asked what happened she would just lock up, become completly unresponcive and start crying. im just really confused.

[Ask April Masini]

This is an easy one! 😆 You need to read my book, Date Out of Your League. You can download it here: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. This is a book I wrote for men who want to get the girl — but haven’t been able to, and in this case, that’s you! I know it’s going to help you.

You made a lot of mistakes, like making yourself too available, not acting confident (by talking to her parents and friends about the relationship), and basically being the nice guy. Nice guys never finish first, and while I’m not suggesting you become a serial killer 😆 I am suggesting you reconsider the way you’re approaching her and other women.

You obviously have the charm and looks to get the girl interested, but you don’t have the basics down to keep her from leaving. She’s still interested in you, but it’s now a competition, and you have to win her over. This book will be your weapon in the battle to get the girl. I promise!

Let me know after you’ve read it, how it helps, and what the progress is with her.

And join me on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. I’d love to hear from you there, too. 😀

[Anonymous]

Thank you April. so far you advice has helped. and everthing is sort of headed in the right direction. shes at least being honest and we are talking regularly again. She admitted that she was very happy in our relationship (and for her thats a big thing). but she said that from her point of view it was like two puzzle pieces that you have to push together and it kind of confused me but i just shook it off. but i have been acting confident again (i always used to be but the whole breakup knocked me off my guard) standing tall, sitting straight, looking directly into eyes.

Now here is the new problem. Since confidence is more like a body language thing and since me and her have a bit of distance (and are always busy). How can i project it over the phone or over email without looking like a Cocky Ass? and also how can i make myself less available?; I have been limiting my talking to her to every four days (I wait 4 days before i initiate conversation) is this a good move? also she always seems too busy to spend time with me but has time to visit everyone else, How can I change this?

[Ask April Masini]

I’m more than happy to answer your questions and give you advice, but if you don’t take it, well….. 🙁 The answer to your new questions are all in Date Out of Your League, which I suggested you get last time you wrote. I know that if you read this book, you’ll get the answers to those questions, and more.

If you read it, and still have more questions, ask me here! I’d LOVE to help you. The book is ony $14.95, and when my readers buy my books, it helps support this free service — which I know so many of you benefit from. So here’s the link: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. The book downloads automatically, and you can start reading tonight! It’s a quick read and you’ll really enjoy it and find it helpful.

Let me know what you think after you read it.

And join me on Facebook! The link for that is here: [url][/url]. 😀

[Author]

Posts